what is baby bunching?

  • Baby Bunching™ is two years of pregnancy and back-to-back infants and toddlers with nary a break for you. Baby Bunching means chaos for you, and your little twiblings. No worries, they become good friends as a result of your bunching strategy. You will become strong, creative, organized, calm and at peace with your new lifestyle without even realizing it.

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Dec 09, 2008


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oh how i feel you. i am so right there. the economy going in the pot of course went right to the con list. i think the idea of 3 is what i love more than the actuality of having 3. but who knows. who knows. being 40 - i don't have much time left to waffle on this.


I would SO love more kids. I'm an only child and would like a big family.

However, with one adopted baby and one IVF baby, you can guess how likely a truly large family is. Unfortunately we are not made out of money and don't have THESE kids paid off. So far we've spent about 100k on family building and frankly, we can't spend it again. Because we're STILL spending it, actually, and will be for a few years.

I will be delighted to have one more. We have a few frozen embryos left that we'll use sometime, and then...probably we'll leave it up to chance and hope. If anything, we'll go back to doing low level IF treatments like iui, possibly iui/meds. Because those are "only" 2-5k a pop.

It's hard for me to justify even that, though, with two children HERE and needing things, you know? I wish things were different, but they're not, and if they were, we wouldn't have adopted our daughter.

I know I'll be happy with just these children. I know I'm darn lucky to have a girl and a boy. But some days I wish we could do the infant thing again at least once. And some days I worry that because I'm only 24 now, I'll be at a loss when they're in school, or when they're grown and go to college.


Eek, that's a tough one. I'm pretty positive that we're done for good, and we're tainted with the baby bunching situation too. I'm scheduling my husband for a snip snip in January (his idea, not mine) so it'll be final after that!


I am at the point right now. I had 3 in a row. My husband is happy with 3 kids and says we're done (although he's not talking about getting snipped or anything). I am happy with my 3 right now, and since the oldest is only 3 1/2, and the youngest is 7 months, obviously I'm not ready yet. But I can't imagine never having another baby. But I do know that if we decide to have another, it will spaced a little further from these 3. :)


So many days I want to say that I'm done. My odest will be four this week, plus a 2.5 year old, and a 6 mo old...they run me ragged and I can't imagine having another some days. Then, other days, when it seems easy or when I realize how much my kids are growing(yes, even the baby- he's not a newborn any more), I get sad thinking about never holding a newborn of my own again.

I would love to get these three off in school and then have another. How I would be able to spoil him/her, with all of the big brothers gone for most of the day. I wouldn't know what to do with myself. It would seem so easy, to just have a baby to take care of.


With two girls my husband wants to try for the boy one more time. I dont know what is better if I wait a few years to get some order in my life or do it now and get it over with because whats more diapers or more spit up? I think once I get the taste of freedom I wont want to go back to baby jail. If only pregnancy only lasted 3 months and baby slept through the night right away!!!!!!!

Tara Pringle Jefferson

I think when you have two back-to-back, it definitely puts you off having any more kids! I know as soon as I had the positive pregnancy test with my second, I started talking about getting my tubes tied, because I DEFINITELY didn't want a third. It also depends on how hellish your pregnancies are, your finances, and your overall plans for your family (living in a small house, sending every kid to an Ivy League college, etc.) The choice is different for everyone, but with two kids (one of each) I KNOW I'm done! :)



I feel as if you took the words for this post straight out of my head (minus the positive pregnancy test part...) My kids are soon-to-be-4 and 5 years old and, like you said, just as soon as things are getting easier I get those pangs again. Things are finally easy after a really really hard couple of years. Why would I want to do it all again? Yet I just can't seem to convince myself that we're done. I look at the babies of friends of mine and I think about how different it would be to relax and hold the baby and peer into its little face while my older kids are in school. About how it wouldn't all be a blur and how I would cherish each and every part. The idea of letting my daughters have the experience of a little sibling. Even just knowing, through it all, that this was the "last time."

But... 2 is a good, even number. Financially, carseat-wise, etc. My husband and I are each replacing ourselves in this world. Between the two of us, we can both make every soccer game or ballet recital. How can 2 people be three places at once? Plus, with three kids there's always one man out. I was one of three and it was always one of my siblings and I against the other (or both against me.) The girls are so close now. Why change that dynamic?

I am literally on the fence each and every day. Yesterday I thought to myself, "No way in hell. Things are good and we have a good life and two wonderful daughters." Today I woke up and couldn't stop thinking about being pregnant again and sharing that excitement with the girls (the oldest doesn't remember any of my pregnancy with the 2nd anyway) and introducing a new little life to our family, etc. etc. We're moving into a new house in the Spring and I've made myself wait until then to decide on anything. Obviously, things can change after that, but if we are going to have a 3rd, I'd like it to happen once we're settled in the new house. If I can only stop looking at pictures of my friends' cute babies (I'm talking about you, Cara!) long enough until then. Time will tell...


I knew I wasn't done after my 2nd was born. My husband needed more time and now we have a beautiful almost 2 month baby girl. To be honest, I would have more if I didn't have to be pregnant, nurse or worry about finances. I am in awe of big families, but we are packed in our small, "cozy" house. If you are thinking about a 3rd, just think about it for a while...you can have my Mobe if you choose to have another!! :)


Oh wow, did you nail this on the head or what. My second is only 4 1/2 months and even though still in the fog, once we verbalized the statements, we're done at two, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with some kind of sadness at not experiencing this again.
My mom keeps reminding me that if I am lucky, I will experience the joy in a different way someday with grandchildren.

Baby Bunching

This post really resonated with me because A) I have listened to you debate pros/cons every step of the way and B) almost everyone I know of child bearing age struggles with this dilemma. Maybe it's because I hang around with people who have very young children still, but I have very, very few friends that know decisively that they are done. We, also, were emotionally scarred by our Baby Bunching experience, and waited 3 years to add another. I didn't want the third to be spaced too far apart, but even now sometimes I wonder if we should've waited a little longer. It is pretty hectic with 3 under 5.

My mom gave birth to a late-in-life "surprise" (my sister is 10 years younger than me) but told me that she STILL grieved the passing of her childbearing years even though she had one more child than she had even planned! I'm with feener that sometimes the idea of one more is more attractive than actually doing it.

Having said all that, you still have time. If you're on the fence, give yourself another year or two to decide. I knew I was ready for #3 when I took a pregnancy test after a slip-up and was disappointed, not relieved, when it came back negative.

Baby Bunching

Ok, ummm two previous comments were from Cara - why are they posting as Linda!??! Just so you all know, Linda doesn't have 15 personalities - it's just me trying to figure out how our identities got intertwined online - LOL.


I'm also stuck in a "to concieve or not to concieve" battle within myself. I have a 2 1/2 year old, a one year old and one due in march...all 3 are boys. I absolutely LOVE having boys but I have this overwhelming "need" for a girl. I've always said you can never have too many boys but as soon as that girl comes, i'm done...i'm now kicking myself for saying that because i never imagined that after 3, none of them would be girls!


my oldest is almost 4 (in March) his little brother is 2.5. their sister is 10 months (tomorrow!). I want one more, and because this spacing worked for us before I want another RIGHT NOW.

however due to medical reasons (a hemorrhage I'm not keen to repeat after the girl's birth) we're waiting. Ideally we'll get pregnant next november making DD and her younger sibling 2.5y apart. new and uncharted territory for us!


for now because my little baby is so easy I am thinking why not 3? though I will wait more than just 17 months apart this time ;)mind you!
But I am thinking that perhaps it's easy in the first months and then next year DS will show his new face and drive me crazy too like his adorable sister ^_^
so I will see. I love babies.we dont have much money, still a rent a not big enough apartment, have a little car, can't buy a house... so I don't know.
I believe we may not have a third baby but for now I can't believe my DS is the last.
What makes me uncomfortable is the idea of another pregnancy :( I hate this!
and two children with a pregnancy, wow, I just cannot imagine this,how could I go through this?
it depends on how the pregnancy goes that time around.

I will see in 2 years how I feel,how things are with my little bunch and we will talk with my DH. If the desire is strong and things are fine in our life then why not?
for now what worries me the most is the pregnancy rather than dealing with three children.

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