Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

pre-party chaos

The days of holiday parties seem to be fading. Often years go by when we’re not invited to single one. And yet, it seemed in our early days we would vie like hawks for the best party weekend. No more. In our eight years of marriage—almost nine now—we have had a Christmas party of some kind every year, except for the year I was pregnant with my second and the following year when Anna was 5 months and Alex was 21 months. We decided hosting a party with two babies was suicide and not worth any effort.

So here we are the day before our annual Christmas party. I barely have time to take a shower, let alone blog, so this will be quick.

I wish I could say this was a post on throwing the perfect party to accommodate your bunch, but it’s not. I love to entertain and as much as I’ve tried to get it all from Costco and heat it up at the last minute, even that doesn’t work. My kids are always in the way while I’m trying to prepare food, scrub toilets or set a table. We’ve had parties with kids. Parties without kids. And anyway you slice it, it’s always a mad rush to the finish line.

Why do we do it? My husband—God love him—is saddened by the dwindling number parties during this festive time of year. So since he and I both love to entertain,  we try to muster up the energy, the money and the wherewithal to throw a party for friends and coworkers.  This past summer we had a party for some of my husband colleagues, and I finally figured out the problem with our system.

1. Hire a babysitter WAY before the guests arrive.

2. Make food that can be made well ahead of time so that I can work evenings or naptimes getting food prepped. 

3. Use paper/plastic products. (This was hard for me since I like to drink wine out of real glasses, but nothing is worse than staying up all night washing dishes only to have little ones needing diapers changed at 6 a.m.)  

These few steps made a huge difference in our party planning.

And thanks to fellow Baby Buncher Andrea who planned a wonderful menu for my last party. I have since taken some of the favorites, added my own, a few from other friends and now have what I think is a stellar Baby Bunching Holiday Party Menu to make ahead of time for really any shindig.

Fruit (cut the fruit 1 day before, prepare skewers the morning of and cover tightly in plastic so they don't dry out)

• Fruit skewers (mix 2 or 3 types--strawberries, melon, grapes, apples, Swiss cheese, ham pieces, cocktail shrimp)

• Melon & prosciutto (wrap small pieces of prosciutto around a piece of melon and arrange around a plate, serve with toothpicks)

Cheese

• Puffed pastry wrapped brie with cranberries

Dips

• Pesto & Sun-Dried Tomato Torta 

• Hummus and pita chips ( Buy from Whole foods)

Main Appetizers

• Bacon-wrapped water chestnuts

• Italian sausage wraps

• Beef and Gorgonzola Toasts with Herb-Garlic Cream

• Hoisin Beef roll ups

• Spinach roll ups

Desserts

• Florentines (elegant crispy orange scented almond cookies with chocolate drizzle - keep tightly sealed away from moist items)

• Oreo truffles

So here it is Friday afternoon and almost my entire menu is completed. Which leaves me tomorrow to entertain my kids and continually keep them out of the "cleaned up" areas until the moment my babysitter arrives and whisks them away for an evening of fun.

here comes santa claus

It's that time of year again for the visit that every Baby Bunching mom looks forward to almost as much as her annual exam - a trip to take the kids to sit on Santa's lap!  And you're not alone in your trepidation of this outing - we're pretty sure that Santa wants to run the other way when he sees Baby Bunchers in line.  But there are a few ways you can preserve your sanity for these outings:

1. Schedule an appointment with Santa. Yep, that's right. He's high tech now and if you do a little asking around among your friends, you can probably find a location in your area where you can make an appointment online to see him. Scheduled appointment=less waiting in line with your bunch. Just be sure you find out if he tends to be running on schedule or not and prepare for the realities of the visit.

2. My personal secret is to skip Santa when he is at the mall and look for him in more non-traditional, less crowded (and less expensive) settings.  For example, when he is in our city, Santa sets up camp with the local Optimist Club. For a donation amount of your choice, you can get a Polaroid and take as many of your own pictures as you want.  Plus no one is ever there so you can take as long as you want AND they give out free candy. Linda lucked out this year and ran into Santa at Bass Pro Shops on the way to see her mother at Thanksgiving. Santa + skeet shooting = the perfect Kerr family outing!  Santa has also been known to frequent Pet Smart. My children frequently wrestle like puppies and have to be exercised like dogs each day, so I can arguably make a good case that we should be able to stand in the (much shorter) dog Santa line.  My favorite was the time Santa dressed as the Chick-Fil-A cow when we were eating lunch there one day.  Free ice cream and a photo with Santa in a cow suit - what could be better? Get creative.

3.  Check any perfectionist tendencies you may have at the door.  No amount of planning and plotting around naps, meals, and precious outfits is a match for a 2 year old with a Santa phobia.  If your kids are screaming, snap the photo and let it go.  You'll remember them how they were.  In my oldest's first Santa picture, he is looking at Santa and screaming in absolute terror.  In my second child's first picture, all four of us are in the photo since it was at a family event, but not one of us are looking at the camera and only 25% of us look happy.  Who knows what my third has planned for us this year in his first Santa photo, but considering that he has two partners in crime to assist in the troublemaking, I'm sure it'll be awesome.  Last year's Santa photo features my children prominently clutching dollar bills because my mom had to bribe them to be in the photo.  Just roll with it - someday you'll treasure the memories, we promise.

So may the force be with you this year.  And if you have a great Santa story to share with us, please do!

laying down the law

We attempted a trip to the mall the other day, a successful one by Baby Bunching standards. A) I got half of what I went to get (1 out of 2 isn’t bad). B) No one was lost, injured or soiled.  C) We killed sometime between activities. But as we were making our way out the mall, we hit a crossroads as we passed by the Borders bookstore. Anna wanted to go in and Alex did not. Here’s how the conversation went down:

Anna: Mommy, I want to go into the bookstore to look at the princess books.

Alex: No, I do not want to go to the bookstore! (Mommy rolls eyes.)

Thinking that we have an extra 10 minutes we need to waste until we had to leave for soccer class….bookstore would be a useful time waster.

Me: Let’s go in the bookstore for a few minutes before we have to leave for soccer otherwise we’ll just have to sit there.

Alex: No, I’m ready to go, now. (Starting to whine.)

Anna: No, I want to go into the bookstore just for a few minutes.

I’m torn. Who wins? We're at a stand off now (cue the Western standoff music.)

Alex: No, we’re not going. If you stay Anna, you’ll just have to live at the bookstore forever.

Me: [totally cracking up by now because that's what I always say.]

I eventually convinced him to stay, and his response to not winning the battle was fine. But that’s not to say that it is always that easy.

The thing about having kids less than two years apart is sometimes we forgo laying down the law because it’s just too hard to do anything else. I often think that in the early years when they have so many impressions, and we as parents are able to mold them a bit, we Baby Bunchers are just trying to survive. Who has time for laying down the law? It’s often hard for us to get down on eye level with our older kids to explain the whole reason we’re not staying at the bookstore or that we’re leaving. It’s hard for us to be strict about bedtime, potty training, co-sleeping, pacifiers, bottles, thumb sucking, tantrum throwing –should I go on? It’s hard because while we want to be firm and consistent about all the pesky things that really do bother us, the truth is we have another little one who is getting into the trash can, eating food off the floor, wandering off, climbing out of a cart, etc.

But then when you have both kids at a standoff, which way do you go?

baby bunching holiday survival tips - streamline or cut out baking

We all love freshly-baked goodies at the holidays.  I come from a family where the holidays were an excuse to have a baking extravaganza with a million different types of Christmas cookies, so for me nothing says "Merry Christmas" like over-baking.  It is a blast to make cookies...when you don't have small children. If you do, you have two equally undesirable options - to try to complete your cookie mission with their unique brand of "help" or to frantically bake your ass off in furtive, late night sessions after they are asleep.  Neither is much fun.

Every year I make my grandmother's sugar cookie recipe, which involves making dough, chilling overnight, rolling out, cutting, and decorating.  And for the past 4 years, it has also involved hollering at my children, who are underfoot while I make them.  No more this year.  At Halloween we got the bag of Betty Crocker Sugar cookie dough, which looked and tasted the same, especially once my kids got done with their decorating magic.  This year for Christmas, we're streamlining baking - we're going the Betty route again and cutting out all of the other hundreds of different kinds we usually make altogether. 

If you bake for gifts, then carry on with your furtive, late night baking as baked goods are always among the more affordable and appreciated gifts.  As for me, I'll choke down one red-hot laden candy cane cookie courtesy of my son and then thank my children for all the calories they've saved me this year.

baby bunching bests

Happy mid-December everyone. Are you stressed yet? Here are this week's Baby Bunching bests. We added a few extras in there that are particularly holiday related just for good sport.

April over at April's Little Family had an absolutely hysterical post about her recent outing to the mall which ended in her peeing in her pants because she let her kids play on the toys instead of sprinting to the bathroom.

Stimey over at Stimeyland laments about the need to get her workout groove back. As a Baby Buncher x 2, we're not surprised working out has been hard to focus on....and with three boys too.

Laura over at Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy? scrambles in the kitchen to make dinner for her Bunch while her dog helps himself to the "main course."

Michelle over at Mom Without a Map hits an emtional chord and writes about taking time to spend with each kid. Although she has three now, it can be rough at times for everyone to get "mommy time."

Karen over at Mommy Needs a Time Out had one of those great Baby Bunching days when everything goes right. We love those moments!

We love that Kate over at The Big Piece of the Cake can still maintain her tree decorating dignity even with three kids under three. 

And now...for a few of our favorite Santa pictures. Please send us more if you have posted them. Boom at A Mom on the Verge (do check out her rockin' Gingerbread house as well), Stimey at Stimeyland and Jessica at A Parent in Silver Spring.

baby bunching holiday survival tip - gifting

As far as I'm concerned, one of the biggest perks of Baby Bunching is that you just need to buy less stuff.  Less toys, less clothes (if you plan carefully, even if you have different genders), less gear.  This is especially true around the holiday season. 

Somehow, despite the fact that we don't buy them lots of toys throughout the year, my kids have WAAAAAYY too many toys.  Probably because they are the first/only grandchildren on both sides of our family.  So when Christmas and birthdays come around, we take advantage of this and the close spacing of our children to simplify gift giving using the following strategies:

• Buy gifts that both children will use/enjoy.  That's not to say that we don't indulge in special requests from our (very different) children, but we try to focus on constructive stuff for them to do - Tinker Toys, Lincoln Logs, art supplies, puzzles, games, etc.  Even better if they require interaction between the two of them and even better if said interaction can occur without my assistance.
• Buy one large gift for everyone to share.  My kids can't read yet, so it is safe to post this - a little bird told me that Santa is bringing them a battery-powered ride on car this year.  They may get one or two little cheapy items in addition to that, but a shared big item is easier and cheaper than a million other ones.
• Encourage others to do the same.  My aunt is the master of this.  Two years ago she got them both a Pottery Barn rocket ship playhouse that got major play and this year she got them a sandbox (shhhh....don't tell them).  Constructive AND shared - major points for her.  This year, Auntie Lindy took up this mantle as well and all three boys will get the ingenious and super-fun Plasma Car (baby will grow into it and by then his brothers will be tired of it so he will get to ride it all the time).  I, and probably they, MUCH prefer this to a million different gifts for each and all it took Linda was one click on Amazon. 
• Set up 529 gifts and encourage college fund donations.  One of our grandmothers has gotten the hang of this, the other, not so much. If you really don't want you to suck the fun out of gift buying for them, encourage them to make a contribution and then get small gifts (coloring books, matchbox cars, etc.) for the kids to open.  The best part about small kids is that they have no concept of dollar value!

I really feel compelled to take advantage of this now while my kids aren't old enough to keep track of how much I spent on whom or how many each got compared to the other.  I'm hopeful that if I train them to appreciate shared gifts now, maybe I can look forward to a lifetime of streamlined holiday shopping (yeah, right).

preparing for cold/flu season: our medicine cabinet tour

We have started in on cold season at our house--we're getting a later start than most families it seems. We have a well-stocked medicine cabinet at our house and every fall we get restocked. Mainly because I never know what drugs they’ll take off the market next.

You will read about all the cold and cough medicines that have been removed from the shelves because parents have neglected to read the labels and given the incorrect dosage to their children. But when your child is sick and hasn’t slept you become frustrated at what you can do. The general rule is less is better. Give as little has you can and if you must give something learn about the ingredients. It's important to know what each one does. And it's better to give the medicine that contain only one ingredient. No need to medicate for symptoms your kids doesn't have.

All the recent coverage about cold/cough medicines make us feel bad as moms when we want to make our kids feel better. Sure it doesn't cure the cold, but it makes them feel better and sleep (which is critical) in the process. Before you give anything, make sure you really do your research and talk to your doctor. 

So here is my very unofficial list of what we keep stocked and why.  (Please note this is not medical advice.) Dr. Sears has a great Medicine Cabinet reference for each of the ingredients and dosage recommendations.

Motrin and Tylenol (liquid)—My son responds better to Tylenol for some reason and my daughter with Motrin. We always have plenty of both.

Children’s Sudafed (liquid)—The real kind with pseudoephedrine (but just pseudoephedrine and nothing else added to it) that you have to buy behind the counter and sign your life away to get. It works great at decongesting stuffy noses.

Children’s Mucinex (liquid)—Only the kind with guaifenesin (an expectorant) in it. This stuff works great for getting kids to cough up the phlegm and but is also great for sinus issues since it really turns all mucus to a runny mess. Super fun. But it works.

Delsym (liquid)—This one is a bit more controversial and I’m very careful about when we use it. Our pediatrician recommended this (dextromethorphan) for after kids have been up a few nights with coughing and really can’t sleep at all. This stuff not only knocks out your kids but really makes them stop coughing. The reason I don’t like to use this is because it’s medically proven that it’s better the cough up the stuff than suppress it. But at night I feel it detrimental to my kids’ health to not rest.

Pedialyte—My kids really hate the taste of this, but when they have the stomach bug it’s nice to have it on hand. You can make your own and disguise the taste a bit.

Benadryl (liquid)—This only works on my daughter for a dry nighttime cough that’s clearly not cold related. We don’t use it much, but if she’s been up night-upon-night, we’ll give her small dose to help her sleep.

Only recently have we started adding in some of the natural remedies for my kids like honey (for cough) and warm tea. A humidifier does work, but we’ve found the warm ones actually work better. We have one of each and just try to keep them running all winter long no matter how well everyone is. Nasal spray is great as well. If you can get it up your kids noses, awesome! My kids fight me so much that it’s just not worth the fight. 

Think of me today as I'm home taking care of my second child. I think older child gave it to her so hopefully once this is over we can glide through Christmas without too much trouble.

baby bunching holiday survival tips - gift wrapping

Here's a favorite tip I use throughout the year that greatly simplifies gift wrapping.  Don't mess with a million fancy holiday gift wrappings - buy one super-huge roll of brown butcher/mailing paper.  Get some raffia (either colored or natural) and a few gift tie-ons (cheap ornaments, pine cones, whatever your tastes are).  Wrap all gifts in the same way and tie your bows/ribbons with raffia.  It's a great simple, natural, and upscale-looking way to wrap your gifts. I use brown paper throughout the year for birthday party gifts as well, with brightly colored raffia and coordinating gift cards that my kids sign their names to.

As a bonus, these materials (be sure you choose paper and raffia without any plastic coating of any sort) are recyclable. I've started trying to be a litle more consciously green in my lifestyle choices and recently came across a statistic that over 38,000 miles of ribbon are thrown away each year - that's enough to tie a bow around the Earth's waist!  Who dug out and measured all that ribbon, I'll never known, but if it's a small and easy way to reduce our footprint, why not do it?  Also gives you an excuse to re-use all those gift bags without looking like a cheap-ass anymore - you're doing the environment a favor!

KIds love "helping" when you wrap so you can either choose to do it while they're sleeping, which is our recommendation, or you can make your kids part of the activity. Linda started involving her kids last year by letting them tape up the packages and even decorate some of the paper with their artwork in red/green. This year she gave them scraps of paper too small to wrap stuff in, kid friendly scissors and some tape so they could wrap up their toys to practice giving to each other. This kept them busy while she quickly wrapped everything.

what number is right for me?

What is the perfect number of children? I suppose that depends upon many things like fertility, size of house, size of car, money, patience, the number of kids you’ve always pictured yourself running after. Cara knows I’ve been wavering back and forth on this for a while.  And after my recent visit to see her, I had pretty much decided we were done with kids. We have a small house. We have a smallerish car. I’m thinking of going back to work--ready to go back to work.  And the weekend at Cara’s reminded me again how far we’ve come and my lack of desire to start back over again, again. [Note: Her kids are really good.]

So the hubby and I decided we were 99% sure we were done.

The week of Thanksgiving came and so came a positive pregnancy test. I flipped. I flipped out so much that I ran out that second to buy 2 more tests while screaming at Cara on the phone, "how does this happen when you're on the pill!" Fortunately for me, those tests came back negative later that day and the next. Believe me in my two years of trying to conceive (that totals about 100 pregnancy tests) never did I have one come back false positive. But whatever. I was relieved. Husband was too.

And yet somewhere in the back of my mind, I still am not sure if our perfect number of kids is two or three.  So yesterday, as I sat at the preschool mom’s morning coffee and watched the other younger siblings--ranging in age from six months to 20 months--it felt strange to be there and be totally present without someone else to manage. No one interrupting or getting into fights over a toy. No one asking for a snack or trying to climb up the shelves. I was kid free, and not completely sure if I liked it.

Another mom must have been able to read my thoughts and asked, “Does it seem strange to be here and not have a kid to supervise?” Yes and no. It’s nice. But strange.

My babies, while not grown in any way, are growing so fast. Alex starts kindergarten next year and Anna is right behind him the following year. And then they’re gone all day for five days a week. Which means really I'm set up to go back to work with very little concern for childcare. But that still makes me a little sad.

I thought about it all day and casually mentioned to my husband that we might still consider a third. He admitted he had been thinking the same thing only for different reasons. We were so tainted by the Baby Bunching experience that it’s hard to think of doing this all over again. We’ve only just come out of the fog in the past few months and started to reconstruct our household. I can actually have both kids eat on real dishes now. Everyone pees in a potty and sleeping in a big bed. We’ve moved into the next phase, and I’m not sure if I’m ready to start over again or not.  Plus it would mean, at the least, getting a bigger car and maybe even a larger house.

How do you know what is right for you?

decorating the Christmas tree…baby bunching style

My first Christmas as a Baby Buncher I remember our "bare bottom" tree. (See picture) For every ornament I put up, my son took one down and hid it somewhere. We He broke three of them the first week. By the end we finally just removed them all within his reach, hence the top heaviness of the tree. (Notice the very European tree style.)

The following year we moved up in the world to ornaments on the bottom that could be removed and put back without breaking. This was an activity itself. Alex graciously shared his knowledge of removing the ornaments with his sister. The two were true partners in crime. The lesson I had learned the year before was to spend little time decorating it since children were bound to undecorate it at their will when I wasn’t looking.

Last year our tree became bottom heavy when both kids insisted on putting all the decorations on in one spot. I would try to disperse them later on but their favorites kept creeping back in front—again and again.

I am now happily celebrating my fourth Christmas as a Baby Buncher, and I have learned some valuable lessons in tree decorating.

1. Do the tree in stages and accept it. Yes, it could be an all-day project or a 2-day project. Put the lights on when the kids are napping (or at least your most verbal one is napping) otherwise he'll ask you a million times if it’s time to put on the ornaments. That amount of pestering might lead you to throw your tree out the window.

2. Fill a shoebox of “kid-friendly” ornaments for the tree before you start taking out everything else. Give the kids the box of all the ones you don’t care about, minus the hooks. Let them go to town while you sit back and drink a cup of tea.

3. Then plop your angel/star on the top and celebrate the end of the "tree decorating."

4. When kids go to bed, hang your precious ornaments with the hooks and smile at your craftiness. I knew there was a reason my friend Kristi told me her parents decorated the tree in secret away from she and her four siblings and made it a special “Christmas surprise.”

‘Tis the season to outsmart your children, right?!!