I remember the days when a shower was impossible. Somedays I never got around to taking one. Other times I would drag in a bouncy seat with one kid and plop the other in front of a show or in his crib hoping to at least get the shampoo out before a major disaster happened.
Then there were the days of potty training. Someone would have to go--right then--and I would try to at least get the soap washed off before flying out of the shower in haste and over to the toilet, only to witness a child missing the toilet completely. Leaving me with a puddle of water and pee on the floor. Nice.
So now that my kids are older and able to play for a bit, I am typically able to catch a shower where I can not only shampoo, but also condition and maybe even decompress. But it never fails, the moment I step out of the shower some occurrence has happened that needs my parenting direction--right then! Even with a towel half wrapped around me or as I'm starting to dress, someone has hit, pushed, kicked, fallen down and there are tears coming from someone and direct parenting action must be taken.
But it's pretty silly to try to give direction or discipline while naked and wet or even partially dressed. It never fails that I've dried off enough and think I'm home free (towel wrapped around my head) and then crash someone goes down and I sprint to them. And there I stand interrogating my children with boobs hanging out. One of them will usually stop and say, "Mommy, why is your towel on your head?" or "Mommy, do you remember when I used to eat from your boobies?" My kids think it's hysterical. I'm wondering if that's why they choose those moments to fight. Very soon, they will realize there needs to be a waiting period before mom can attend to these trivial sibling squabbles--because I really need to have clothes on to dictate law in this house.
This post made me LAUGH, from the headline on down. It is too, too true. Only worse, now my three year old is examining me naked and asking about things like what nipples are. I am glad to find you! I saw you were featured on The Ultimate Role Mommy Blogroll, too, and wanted to reach out. I put up a post today about two kids vs. three, and would love you to join the discussion over at www.lovethatmax.blogspot.com
Posted by: Ellen | Dec 22, 2008 at 02:13 PM
Every once in a while - I wonder when it will be inappropriate for my children (particularly my boys) to see me nude? I guess the more immediate question would be when I can expect to take a shower without at least two sets of little eyes watching me. God forbid we are separated by glass or fabric for more a few minutes...
Posted by: Kate Coveny Hood | Dec 22, 2008 at 02:52 PM
So you're saying I might get to shower one of these years?
Posted by: Casey | Dec 22, 2008 at 07:16 PM
hmmm... i'm naked a lot. i am always running out of the shower after someone (that used to mean something naughty LOL)... and i can never get fully dressed without at least two incidents. today my husband said to me... do you realize you're topless? LOL. yeh. nekkid is the new black around here.
Posted by: April | Dec 22, 2008 at 07:43 PM
I usually have about three and a half minutes to shower. Even when my husband's home. Because my daughter seems to think it's cool to stand in the doorway while Mommy's showering, thereby letting all the warm air out. I'm usually freezing by the three minute mark....
Tara
http://theyoungmommylife.com
Posted by: Tara Pringle Jefferson | Dec 22, 2008 at 08:55 PM
hmmm consistent showering...I hope to partake of that in the near future.
Posted by: beth | Dec 22, 2008 at 09:42 PM
Your post made me laugh out loud too. SO TRUE! Considering the fact that my oldest prefers to be naked most of the time anyway, I'd say our house is not the safest place to just "stop by" at any time.
Posted by: Alecia McLochlin | Dec 22, 2008 at 10:03 PM
I just found this site and immediately, upon reading the title knew what baby bunching was...I guess you have to be a baby buncher(which I've never thought to actually call it) to understand. I have two boys...3 yr old and 20 month old who are 19 months apart and I'm almost 7 months pregnant with our 3rd, a girl. Bunching was my strategy so that my kids could grow up together and I could be crazy for a few years with being pregnant, nursing, and doing it all again and then be done and the liitle ones would all be good friends! This post on the shower...I think this happened to me today...the naked parenting.
Posted by: Becky | Dec 22, 2008 at 10:16 PM
This is such a funny post Linda. I also never seem to be able to go to the bathroom by myself -- and my visitors always have lots of questions and report what they see to others -- which is great.
Posted by: caitlin | Dec 23, 2008 at 12:01 PM
LMAO on the eat from your boobies.
Seriously, what is it about seeing the milk jugs and all the memories flood back?
My son gets so excited. Too bad my husband doesn't have the same reaction (heh).
Posted by: motherhood uncensored | Dec 24, 2008 at 07:19 AM