Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

saying goodbye to baby's first christmas

This past Sunday, I ran into a friend and fellow Baby Buncher (also with 3 under the age of 5) at church and she commented to me that while they'd had a lovely Christmas, she was "glad to see her last Baby's First Christmas behind her." Until she articulated it, I didn't realize that I also had been feeling that way. 

Somehow, adding a baby to the Christmas mix adds a whole other dimension to the holiday. I slogged through the season with a baby permanently glued to my hip, trying to simplify things as best I could. Sadly enough, I ended up cutting out two of the activities that I actually enjoy the most - baking and wrapping (because I ordered most of my gifts online and had them shipped directly to recipients to spare myself the agony of standing in line at the post office with my Bunch in tow).  We decided to forgo holiday traveling with a baby and instead everyone came to us, which made things easier in that we didn't have to pack up and go, but harder in that we had to host those who came to us. All in all, it was just kind of a weird, non-festive year. Which sucked because it was also Baby #3's first Christmas.

I don't have a good history with Baby's First Christmases. At my oldest's first Christmas, I was newly pregnant with #2 and sick as a dog. I was in a fog that year, but somehow I managed to shove him into precious overalls with Santa hand-knitted into the front and get all the obligatory photos taken (for the Christmas card, at the photo studio, on Santa's lap, family picture in front of the tree, etc.). I had to be sure to capture all those happy "Baby's First Christmas" memories, but in a twist of irony all I want to do is puke every time I look at the family photo because I remember how morningsick I was.

For my second baby's first Christmas, HE was sick as a dog with an ear infection. He literally did not sleep for a week unless he was held because at first we thought he was teething, and by the time we realized he was really sick, it was Christmas Eve and the doctor's office was closed for two days. Thankfully, my family was visiting, otherwise I literally don't know how we would've made it through Christmas. Five adults took shifts holding him around the clock while the rest of us tried to keep up with his energetic not-quite-two-year-old brother. NOT a good year. Nevertheless, I shoved both boys into matching hand-smocked outfits during the day and precious gingerbread jammies at night to capture manufactured happy memories so that someday I can show him what a wonderful first Christmas he had.

Baby #3's first Christmas--this year--was bittersweet for me.  A dear friend of mine lost her infant son a few months before mine was born, and I was conflicted this holiday season between savoring my miracle while mourning her loss.  On top of that, Baby was a teething, fussing nightmare and he managed to wear out his parents, both sets of grandparents, and all his aunts.  Being #3, he naturally has quite a few less "happy Christmas" photos to begin with, but we have a few (in matching outfits for all boys, of course) and I found myself letting go of my photo obsession just a little. It was just too hard to capture every memory with everything that was going on.  We seemed to race through the holidays at breakneck speed and then collapse from exhaustion when it was all over. 

But the New Year holiday is already off to a better start.  Extended family vacated the premises yesterday and just having less people in the house already makes things feel more calm.  We had our babysitter come this morning and hubby slept off a migraine until 1 pm while I spent two delicious hours running errands by myself and sipping Starbucks. We are blessedly NOT hosting the annual New Year's Eve party tonight, so we'll head over to our friends' house for an early dinner and (provided baby cooperates) be sound asleep to ring in the New Year. 

I am cherishing every moment of our third baby because I know he is our last, but I must say that I am happy to see my final Baby's First Christmas in my rear- view mirror.  Happy New Year, everyone!

baby bunching book guide

We're looking to create the Baby Bunching book guide. This includes all books that you found helpful as a Baby Buncher with topics including: sleep, food, behavior, sibling or just plain funny ones that we all should be reading. Post your favorites here in the comments, and we'll compile them into a list similar to the Baby Bunching Double Stroller Guide.

Here are a few of our all-time favorites (more to come):

Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy, Girlfriend's Guide to the First Year and Girlfriend's Guide to Toddlerhood

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child

Baby 411

The Vaccine Book

Mama Knows Breast

Beyond One

Twice Blessed

Send us your favorites (and please include why or a story) and we'll have the list ready for your after-Christmas gift card spending spree.

baby bunching tip #8: embrace the mess, fake the clean up

Besides getting in shape, the next big new year's resolution is to get organized. Almost an impossible feat if you're a Baby Buncher. Diapers, bags, toys, bottles are usually everywhere. Little ones don't know about picking up so who's doing it? You are.

Don’t get discouraged when you look around and realize that your house looks like it was hit by a tornado. In the early months of Baby Bunching, this is pretty much unavoidable, so don’t beat yourself up. Even if you are a Type A control freak, as you recently learned with the birth of your first child, you no longer control anything in your life.  So surrender to your house and let the mess roll off your back. 

We’re not suggesting that you totally let it go. We’re just suggesting that you let some things slide for awhile. We promise that this will get easier, like everything else with Baby Bunching. One day two or three years from now you will look around the house and realize that it’s no longer so trashed that you’re not embarrassed to let even the exterminator in. But until then, we’ll teach how some tricks for holding down the fort and faking it. 

Here are a few general tips to help you keep it together:

• Buy big bins or containers and shove your toys in them. Organizing toys for babies and toddlers is an exercise in futility – spare yourself.  ou can go through once a quarter or every six months and pare down/organize, but day-to-day just shove/hide it in a container. Now is the time to stock up on these containers/bins/baskets. Get a variety of styles and shapes. Some with tops and some without. Label them if you can. It will help you remember what goes where and will help those helping you put it back where it belongs.

• Along these lines, have bins/containers on each floor. Let it go that toys are everywhere.  You will save yourself trips upsptairs to the nursery/playroom if you have toys on the ground floor where you will spend most of your time – next to the kitchen.

• Do yourself the favor of “re-setting” – pick up toys, clean kitchen each night and enlist hubby’s help. It is a sanity saver to start the next day with a clean slate!

• Have ONE ROOM that is picked up/organized where you can spend time in.  Even if it is only your bathroom or closet. You will at least have one place where you can go and feel like some aspect of your life is under control.

• Likewise, have ONE ROOM that toys can just get tossed in (bedrooms or out of the way playrooms are great).  When guests come and you need to look clutter-free, just throw everything in there.

• Have one major chore assigned to each day (ex. only do grocery shopping on Monday, only mop on Tuesday, etc.)  This alleviates some of the overwhelming “Where to start?!” feeling that comes with 5 free minutes of time and gives you some focus for what to do that day when you get a few free minutes here and there.

baby bunching bests

We hope everyone had a happy and safe Christmas. Here are this week's Baby Bunching bests. And in the spirit of counting down...this Baby Bunching Bests is almost all lists. Happy New Year!

Amy over at Pretty Babies provides her Ten Commandments of Toddlers. It's a great reminder for both new and experienced parents no matter what age your kids are. I think I might print these out and hang them up all over my house.

Gillian had a wonderful post up at Chicago Mom's Blog about making holiday traditions even with little time or resources. We Baby Bunchers don't have time for much, but it's nice to know even the small things like hot dog buns will make a big impression on our kids.

Tara over at The Young Mommy Life gives us her 10 things she wishes she knew before she had kids.

Geekymummy at The Hair Dog Chronicles is in South Africa this holiday season. She provides us with her tips for traveling halfway around the world with a baby and toddler.

Mrs. Bear over at Outnumbered Two to One had me laughing so hard I was in tears with her hysterical post about the toddler school of manipulation.

ringing in the new year - family style

Unless you live near family (and sometimes even then), chances are you are hard-pressed to find a babysitter crazy enough to look after your Bunch while you paint the town red on New Year's Eve.  Of course, if you're like us, chances are you wouldn't have the energy to head out anyway.  Ever since I became a parent, my idea of the perfect evening is ringing in the new year with a full night's sleep and the hopes that the upcoming year will include more sleep than the previous year did.

Which is why five years ago, we started the tradition of the Fox Family New Year's Eve Extravaganza.  At this family-friendly event, we invite our friends and their assorted offspring to join us for dinner around 5 pm.  I provide a main dish and everyone else brings an appetizer, dessert, or side dish and wine.  The kids play while we chat and drink and we have a mock countdown/champagne toast at 8:00. Typically, everyone is out the door by around 9:30 and most of us are sound asleep at midnight, knowing full well that our little ones have no intention of letting us start the new year off by sleeping in.

Honestly, I can't think of a better way to spend New Year's Eve.  Babysitters are in short supply, restaurants are overcrowded and overpriced, and the roads are increasingly more dangerous the later it gets.  Celebrating the New Year with friends at our home allows for the best of both worlds - we save money on an evening out, we still get to eat and drink with friends, and we have minimal parenting responsibilities since our kids keep each other occupied in a baby-proofed environment. 

We'd love to hear how you ring in the New Year!

 

and the holidays continue

We just returned from Christmas at my parent's house. The chaos was overwhelming not just for the kids, but even me. So much so that I managed to get a nap yesterday out of not one, but both my kids. And as a bonus, they all slept in until a reasonable time this morning.

This is the first year that my kids have done what most kids should be doing on Christmas day and the following few days and weeks....play with their toys. Yes, up until this year, my kids acted like Christmas was just another day on the calendar. Translation: we had to entertain them as usual. Nope, this year they played with their new matching “his and hers” castles. Yes, this was my husband’s idea—and a good one at that! I was able to sit and enjoy the quiet and hubby was able to play his new computer game.

Today we welcomed several hours of play by very happy children with their toys, while the grown ups lazed about for a bit.

And while I’m enjoying the quiet for several days before the in-laws descend upon our household, Cara is doing the three-hour turnaround of guests. She’s recovering from a huge Christmas dinner with family and friends, said goodbye to her in-laws this morning only to have to turn sheets for her parents who arrive later today.

Happy Holidays to you all.

santa, have you heard about baby bunching?

This year Christmas is big for us. Not big as in 'big gifts.' But it's big because this is the first year that both my kids are fully into Christmas, Santa and all the fixin's. At almost 3 1/2 and 4 1/2 both son and daughter are fully counting the days and minutes until Christmas morning. They made their list to Santa, and I was asked to write in a line about how we would NOT be at "our house Christmas morning so please make sure and stop by Grandma's house."

But what does Santa know about Baby Bunching? Well, here's the thing about this year. Both my kids can count....very well. So as I was wrapping gifts this afternoon (while hubby took kids to the playground) I noticed a very unbalanced load. Santa apparently was a bit off this year. One pile was much, much smaller than the other. Last year, this wouldn't have made a difference. Anna was too young to notice and Alex was just so excited and I could let anything slip by them. Hey, I even bought their gifts last year with one of them with me. But this year, I'm thinking Santa needed to keep better track of his and her gifts. Fortunately for us this year, we'll be surrounded by family Christmas morning who are probably coming bearing gifts as well so we'll be able to mix it up a bit. But I think this might be the last year Santa can make this oversight.

last minute craziness: holiday errands

For some reason I was left running about a million errands with my kids this morning. Super fun, especially in my husband's teeny tiny car with two booster seats (aka kids can unbuckle themselves.) It's amazing all three of us made it home.

Here are the ingredients to surviving holiday errands WITH kids, the day before a major national holiday:

--Starbucks Peppermint Mocha Latte. I don't care how expensive it is, it will immediately, without fail ,change your mood and make you smile.

--Christmas music in the car. It will lift your spirits and help you sing through Target to amuse your kids. People will think you're crazy for busting out into song, but look at you.....people already think you're nuts for having kids so close in age.

--Strollers and/or carts. Don't go in without one. If nothing else it will hold the kids' coats and give you an option to strap someone in.

--Chick Fil A. We never ever eat here, but I treated mine to chicken nuggets and the play room and we were good. (Note: if your youngest (or oldest) is between the ages of 12-24 months, do not attempt this without a second pair of hands. Kids stuck up in the playscape can be tricky to get down.)

--Snacks and bribes. Ok, so the whole morning was about food, but at least kids are quieter with food in their mouths.

Really, if you can. Do your errands minus one kid or all the kids. I think even doing them at 8 p.m would have been better than our chaos this morning. Happy Holidays!

the indignity of naked parenting

I remember the days when a shower was impossible. Somedays I never got around to taking one. Other times I would drag in a bouncy seat with one kid and plop the other in front of a show or in his crib hoping to at least get the shampoo out before a major disaster happened.

Then there were the days of potty training. Someone would have to go--right then--and I would try to at least get the soap washed off before flying out of the shower in haste and over to the toilet, only to witness a child missing the toilet completely. Leaving me with a puddle of water and pee on the floor. Nice.

So now that my kids are older and able to play for a bit, I am typically able to catch a shower where I can not only shampoo, but also condition and maybe even decompress. But it never fails, the moment I step out of the shower some occurrence has happened that needs my parenting direction--right then! Even with a towel half wrapped around me or as I'm starting to dress, someone has hit, pushed, kicked, fallen down and there are tears coming from someone and direct parenting action must be taken. 

But it's pretty silly to try to give direction or discipline while naked and wet or even partially dressed. It never fails that I've dried off enough and think I'm home free (towel wrapped around my head) and then crash someone goes down and I sprint to them. And there I stand interrogating my children with boobs hanging out. One of them will usually stop and say, "Mommy, why is your towel on your head?" or "Mommy, do you remember when I used to eat from your boobies?" My kids think it's hysterical. I'm wondering if that's why they choose those moments to fight. Very soon, they will realize there needs to be a waiting period before mom can attend to these trivial sibling squabbles--because I really need to have clothes on to dictate law in this house.

baby bunching bests

It's been a busy week for both of us. Cara is hosting back-to-back family since she's not leaving Atlanta this year, and Linda just pulled off a rather time-intensive holiday party and it planning for a trip to see her parents.

Jenni over at Oscarelli finally had her baby (a boy!)--10 days late. Welcome to the world of Baby Bunching, Jenni.

Feener over at MommyVents just defined my past few days in her one post.

Susan over at One Year Apart has some great tips for Baby Bunchers about hand-me-down clothes for your bunch.

Kristen over at Motherhood Uncensored needs a break from the chaos in her household.

Jen over at Not Just Any Jen writes a very accurate depiction of any of us who get sick. We're still more attentive to our children than to ourselves. Get some rest, Jen.

Caitlin over at A Hen and Two Three Chicks answers some questions about Santa for her oldest child. These are questions we're starting to face in our house. As a side note to this, check out today's Washington Post article on Santa. I'm not sure it answers Caitlin's question, but it was an interesting read on a similar topic.