By Susan Busch
When I landed my current work-from-home-part-time arrangement, my visions of flexibility and fulfillment were grand. And some precious elements of that vision have indeed materialized: I relish my weekday time with the kids, whether that means we're at the playground or a doctor's appointment, and I'm ever-so-grateful to type and talk away the work day in my slippers.
But I've also had to come to terms with some tough-to-swallow part-time work realities for moms of close sibilings. Most notably: you won't gain as much quality time with the kids as you might expect. Here's what two-plus years in the part-time-at-home trenches as a Baby Buncher has taught me:
1. You'll need more babysitting than you think.
I learned the hard way, beginning my 20-hours-per-week job with a thin, two-day patchwork of babysitting coverage and nap times slated to do the rest. Of course, neither the job or the kids adhered to this schedule and I sweated through many crying-laced conference calls.
Now I work 24 hours per week, and typically have four, 8-hour days of childcare coverage lined up to ensure I can meet my hours commitment, maintain ad hoc availability for the inevitable "need-it-now" situations that arise when everyone else you work with is full-time, and carve out a little alone time to maintain the household.
My keys to success? Using multiple caregivers (I rotate among three to lighten the tall order of supervising close-in-age siblings) and focusing on the short-term, arranging one week of our lives at a time. I expect my arrangements to change often -- in my experience, babysitting a young baby bunch can easily become too overwhelming for even those most dedicated caregiver.
2. You may feel alienated from other working moms.
The Baby Buncher's road to a full professional "recovery" can be frustratingly long -- and lonely. Shortly after the birth of my second daughter, I struggled to connect with the working moms around me, envious they could so steadily get their groove back, while I remained stranded in my second-straight disjointed year of dubious memory and dirty sweats.
As a working Baby Buncher, I was at a loss for how other moms could navigate the challenges of schedules, deadlines, and travel that in those early days felt so mountainous and highly emotional to me. Instead of feeling like I was among friends, I had the constant urge to explain myself and overcompensate for what I perceived as weakness -- efforts that drained even more energy from my precious reserves (see next item).
3. The demands of home will (eventually) make you stronger at work.
Because Baby Bunching requires relentless prioritization, we rapidly become pros at slicing through the cries, whines, and chatter of our crew to get to the heart of the matter at hand. And I'm happy to report that the same no-nonsense approach had no choice but to eventually seep into my work. I've been surprised to find I've not only got the courage but the obligation (my time and energy crunch demands it) to be more direct when it comes to facing and resolving problematic issues, and pushing complex projects across the finish line.
I need only look down at my well-worn slippers to remind me of my progress, and a little closer at the dried Playdough on the soles to remind me why, despite the occasional hard knocks, my efforts are worthwhile.
Susan blogs at One Year Apart. Her two daughters are 3 and 2 years old. They are 13 months apart. If you are interested in guest blogging, please email us at [email protected].
Amen to the first piece of advice. When I worked part-time from home when #1 was born, I stupidly thought he would just hang out in the bouncy next to me while I worked. Uh - not so much. Found myself scrambling for child care for him and never even bothered to try to work without a sitter when #2 came along. But by then, my "part time job" became a full time job in part time hours. I had a daytime sitter, but was also killing myself to work from 8 pm to 1 am after my kids went to bed to get the job done. It sucked. I have now realized that I should count on about 1.5 hours of babysitting for every hour I "plan" to work.
Posted by: Cara Fox | Nov 14, 2008 at 03:14 PM
I tried working from home in the year between my first and second kid but it was impossible. My job demanded that I be available at all hours and you just can't pull that off with a screaming kid in your face. I ended up getting a sitter for two days a week and going into work but once my second was born, I quit. Arranging for childcare is great advice, it's just not possible to do both.
Posted by: Casey | Nov 14, 2008 at 09:58 PM
I totally agree with this. I worked from home right after my second was born and worked during naptimes and after bed....but the job was only about 15 hours a week so it was fine. I started one that was 20+ hours a few years ago and I felt the same about the babysitting. I could never have enough and I always felt like I should be down in the office working instead of at the playground. It was hard to draw boundaries.
Posted by: Linda | Nov 15, 2008 at 08:27 AM
I'm not sure how long I did it without a sitter. And I only have one 4 hours each morning (3 mornings a week), but it's amazing how much I can get done when I'm able to focus and not chase after kids.
I went from working a part time job (with my daughter sitting in my office with college students), to not really working, to having two extremely busy businesses while writing a book and freelancing. The transition was crazy and I was not prepared. All of a sudden I went form SAHM to WAHM, but not in my head. It was always just "side stuff."
Fortunately, we have a lot of wahms in our 'hood, so I don't feel alienated, but it is hard when you don't get to work during the day and you miss out on things because you need to work weekends and nights when the kids are occupied and asleep.
So, it's definitely a blessing but most certainly a CHALLENGE!
(sorry for the book!)
Posted by: Motherhood Uncensored | Nov 16, 2008 at 07:50 AM
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Posted by: PHYLLISHood19 | Aug 15, 2011 at 01:28 AM