setting up for breastfeeding success

By Dr. Jenny Pehl, Ph.D.

[Editor's note: This is the first guest blog post from our wonderful group of Baby Bunching moms. If you would like to guest post, please send us an email at babybunching at gmail dot com.]

When my oldest was about 3 or 4 weeks old, I did the math and realized that between his lazy suck and insatiable appetite, I was spending 8 hours a day breastfeeding.  Even if your baby is a model of efficiency, breastfeeding still requires a time commitment at least equivalent to a part-time job.  And, like any job, it's worth putting some thought into your work environment.

Whether it's your first or seventh breastfed baby, some items are crucial for your space.  The first thing you'll need is the most comfortable seat in the house.  You'll also need some kind of a footstool, a pillow to help with positioning (I love the My Brest Friend), and a cloth to deal with those "wet burps".  For additional comfort, you'll need a spot within reach for a bottle of water, maybe a healthy snack, a good book, and the stereo remote.  I don't recommend trying to watch TV or play video games while nursing (though I did beat FFXII with my oldest), because there's too much temptation to continue the feeding "just to the end of this show/level" long after the baby has stopped eating.  And don't you have something better to do? Hmm?

But baby bunching moms quickly learn that EVERYTHING becomes just a little more difficult with a toddler involved. When Big Brother/Sister is still mostly a baby, you can't just cocoon yourself away with the newborn, especially once Daddy goes back to work and Grandma flies home to Grandpa. In order to successfully breastfeed, you're going to have to include your toddler. 

Step 1: Self-Directed Play.  While you're pregnant, encourage your toddler to play independently for a little while each day.  Sit in one place and let him or her bring you things to play with if they wish.  Let your child lead and let them ignore you if they're distracted by the game they've made up themselves.  This also gives your pregnant-self a chance to relax and put up those swollen feet. 

Step 2: A Safe Place.  Make your husband drag that comfy chair to the most babyproofed room of your house.  It will not take long for the average 1-year-old to discover that when Mama's nursing the baby, she's not going to be jumping up in a hurry to put a stop to some fun baby adventures.  You're not going to be able to relax enough for a good let-down if you're worried about what your toddler is up to and yelling "No!" every few minutes.  There also needs to be plenty of fun things around to play with.

Step 3: Both/And Not Either/Or.  All the toys made in China are not going to keep your toddler distracted from you forever. Have a spot next to you that your toddler can crawl up on when he or she needs some Mama-love. My son crawls up onto an endtable next to my rocker. From there, he often likes to sit on the arm of the chair and we all rock together. If your toddler feels that he or she can get your attention and affection whenever they want, they are much less likely to resent the baby's nursing. (That is, if you're not tandem nursing.)

Breastfeeding CAN be very rewarding with your baby bunch.  Given the freedom to do his own thing, my son will often come and look at the baby and adorably pet her fuzzy head. Once the baby's in a blissed-out food coma, you'll be rested enough to get down on the floor and wrestle with that toddler.  Nature designed breastfeeding to be good for moms as well as babies; after all, that may be your only chance to sit down all day!

Dr. Jenny has a 19-month-old son and a 4-month-old daughter. They are 14 1/2 months apart.

Comments

[Jen]

Thank you for this guest blog. I am writing down these ideas for when number two comes along in four months. Number one is... rambunctious. :-)

[Denise]

I am new to this blog, and I am expecting my second in January (he will be 15 months younger than his older brother) and I am taking all the advice I can get :) Thank you for this one, I did not even think about some of this stuff!

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