potty training your 'bunch': part 1

This will be the first in a series on potty training from the Baby Bunching perspective. If you know me, you know potty training is by far my least favorite parenting duty after sleep training. I hate it so much that I force my children to undergo a weekend of potty boot camp with yours truly as the potty Nazi.

Potty training sucks. Potty training with two under two is crappy. (Pun totally intended)

Depending on how close your bunch is, potty training before your second baby is born is a very smart idea. Baby Buncher Shelley did this with her first. She seized the moment and had her 18-month old peeing in the potty before the baby was born. Because really, when you’re 8 months pregnant and not really wanting to go anywhere, you might as well be camping out on the bathroom floor reading Elmo books to junior. Right? She had accidents after the baby was born, but overall the bulk of the work had been done.

On the flip side, if you’re like Cara just wait until your oldest is over three and he potty trains himself. Done. That’s the most desirable way to get the job completed.

But if you do the math, most of us are doing the potty training when our oldest kids are 2 ½ to 3 years old. Where does that put your little one? Crawling and/or walking around in the lovely he’s-into-everything-phase. So while you’re trying to cajole one to pee pee on the potty, the other one is probably emptying the trash, taking the TP off the roll or in the kitchen eating from something in the pantry.

You can’t be in two places at once.

When I potty trained Alex, he was just about two-and-a-half. Anna was 15 months and hated to be left alone for longer than half a second. I was trying to spend all my time in the bathroom with him and she was crying because I couldn’t spend the time with her. If he hadn’t been ready for the potty, I probably would have just waited 6 months, and trained them both at the same time. Although I imagine that’s not easy either.

Here are some general thoughts to consider before/during potty training your first born:

Be realistic. If you’ve just had a new baby and your toddler show signs of wanting to use the potty, know that this probably is not the best time to tackle this. I tried this with Alex at 18 months. (Anna was 2 months old) Yeah, it didn’t work. I missed that window of opportunity. Hint to you who haven’t gone this route: There will be another one. Each of my kids had about three to four ‘windows’ where they showed interest in it. As a new mom, the first time we hit one, I went out and bought the potty and tried to go forth. Little did I know potty training is about both child AND mom being ready. Do it when you’re in the right mental state to do it. Cuz it aint easy. They don’t call it training for nothing!

Do it fast. Don’t drag out the training process. It’s better to dedicate a weekend or a weekend plus a few days to just doing this. Get it out of the way and be done. You have another little one who needs you too. If it’s not working after a few days. Back off and try again another time.

This will change up your outing routine. Nothing says nightmarish fun like having a great time on the playground with your kids and your oldest, who you’re potty training, decides he has to pee RIGHT NOW! That means you have to go right now, too. Even if you just spread out the lunch on the blanket. Even if you just sat down at McDonalds to eat. You have to go right now. I’ll talk more on this later. I have fond memories of us loading our Happy Meal into the stroller so Alex could pee….Anna still chowing down on the hamburger in the bathroom. Gross, huh?

The good news is your little one is little and doesn’t mind a sprint or change of venue to dash to the bathroom. The tables will be turned—in probably a year or so—when you’re doing this dash for your younger one. Your older child will be the disappointed one at that point.

Potty Training is a full-time job. Potty training is all day. Call in reinforcements when you do it. Have your spouse around to take the younger child off your hands or to give you a break from cleaning up pee.

The bottom line is everyone in the house needs to be in this together. And once you decide it’s the right time, just go for it. Rip it off like a Bandaid. It will go much faster and in the end a weekend of madness is worth it if you’re done.

Stay tuned for Part 2: Essential Baby Bunching Potty Training Supplies!

Comments

[Casey]

Those words terrify me. I don't want to potty train, EVER. My kids are going to college in diapers.
I think I'm going to try to do them both at the same time since they're only 16 months apart. I hear girls are easier to train so since my youngest is a girl, hopefully they'll both be emotionally ready at the same time. We'll see.

[geekymummy]

I'm in the throws of it, but maybe because mine are in daycare, who have done it a million times, (and have not yet found a child who does not learn how to use the potty!) I'm not finding it too awful. My oldest is 2 yrs 8 months and at the moment she wears underwear when she wants to, or pull ups if she prefers. She asks for a diaper to poop, but is basically pee pee trained now. If I want to go out for an extended period with the kids, or take a long car trip I just put a diaper on her, or bring a travel potty and a change of clothes. Maybe I'm dragging it out longer than I need to, but I can't bring myself to waste a precious weekend stating at home by the potty!

[Cara Fox]

Yes, yes, I am lazy. But Boy #1 potty trained himself in a day or two and that was it - no Pull Ups, no nighttime accidents, nothing. In retrospect, I wish I'd gone that route with Boy #2. He was showing signs of readiness before he was 2 1/2 so I jumped on the potty training bandwagon thinking it would be easy with him because he is such a compliant child. Yeah, not so much. 9 months later, we've graduated from Pull Ups at night, gone back to Pull Ups during naps and night because of too many accidents, and we probably have two daytime accidents a week. Not counting the times I have to rush him to the potty out of exasperation because he has been doing "the potty dance" for two hours, but won't take the initiative to go by himself. UGH. Boy #3 is SO potty training himself - don't care how old he is.

[Deena]

I think we will start our daughter in the next few months. What are the signs that they are ready?
I will look forward the the Essential Bunching Potty Training Supplies!

~Deena

[Lisette]

I have a 26 month old girl and a little boy who will be 1 in November. They are 15 months apart. I think if I hadn't had a newborn when my daughter was around 18 months old she would have been trained by now. But you can't change those things.

Sometimes I think she is ready and then other times I don't. It's hard to give her the consistency she needs right now in order to get her potty trained. We just bought land and are now going through the whole process of buying the modular to put on it. I am a SAHM, but I also take part time classes at the local community college, so dh looks after the kids during that time. He's not so great on keeping things consistent. I just got my almost one year old on a good eating schedule and only having 3 bottles a day. I think when my classes are over in December that I will try to potty train. That will give us about a month to get her on a good schedule. If it doesn't work, we will just try again later.

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