How to know if someone in your bunch is ready? My kids have gone through many 'windows' of being ready, and I think you have to take one of those and go with it. My kids never showed the typical signs like being dry all night long. But there was a point when they were dry for long periods of time. But generally I knew they were ready when they started talking about it more and more.
Child #1
Alex showed his first interest in the potty when I was 3 weeks from my due date with Anna. He was 15 months old. My mother assured me he could be trained. I think my response was a very serious eyeroll. First of all, I was about to have a new baby, and we were about 8 weeks away from an international move. So I opted to let this window of opportunity pass us by. It was a smart decision in the end, I'm sure.
His next window hit when he was about 18 months. After just moving to Sweden with my 2-month-old baby, my visiting father-in-law assured me he could be trained. I went out bought my trusty Baby Bjorn potty and commenced with the process. I failed miserably when I realized Alex didn't care if he was standing in pee or not. So I packed up the potty.
The next window didn't come until he was a little over two. We were visiting with my parents after just returning from Sweden. (Yes, another international move.) I again went out to buy another potty--the shittiest one around--to try the process yet again. Realizing this wasn't going to work on my mom's newly laid floors/carpet, we packed up the potty.
But I did seize the moment about a month later. We had just moved into our house and my son was befriending the neighors kid when he very proudly told the little three-year old, "I just poo pooed in my pants." I whisked his stinky bottom inside and decided that was it. A week later it was done.
Child #2
We learn when we got through this parenting game that every child is different. Anna immediately showed interest in the potty when I trained Alex. She was about 15 months. I thought training her would be a cinch. Not exactly. Anna was fascinated by the potty because Alex was using it. One might think this means she'd want to play our game. Yet again, not exactly.
She loved to talk about potty and pretend, but if you asked her to do it. She would scream. She would protest. She would become the anti-potty monster. She did this for almost a year. Though I never tried to push it with her like I did him. She was too dramatic about the whole thing.
Until one afternoon I found her changing...yes changing....her own diaper. Took it off. Got another. Open the tabs and put it on herself. The next day we started and within a week we were done. It was brutal and worse than Alex, but it was done. The good news with training #2: Sometimes your older child will actually help you out!
How did you know your child was ready? Or better yet, when did you know you were ready?
I don't think we're ready yet but I'm coming back to these posts when we are. My son turns two the week of Xmas but hasn't shown any interest in potty training. I think I'll wait to try it until he's out of school next summer.
Posted by: Casey | Oct 23, 2008 at 09:51 AM
I introduced the potty when DS was 18 mos. From the beginning he was awesome about sitting on the potty and using it, but only when I told him to. Then he would go in his pants like 20 mins later. I tried all kinds of charts and rewards and even let him run around naked after hearing of one training method. He peed on the floor and started playing in it. I totally gave up after he turned 3 (and got all kinds of grief from everyone!). Then one day like magic he told me that he needed to go potty, at about 3 1/2. And that was it. Two yrs of total frustration and it was done in one day. I've already decided I am not going to be so eager to start with my next kids. It will happen when they are ready. Also, I found pull ups to be a big waste of time and money but I'm sure others will disagree.
Posted by: Lisa | Oct 23, 2008 at 10:11 AM
My oldest started showing interest at 15 months also. Things were going well until one day when she went potty a few times in a row and was rewarded with an M&M each time. About half an hour later she got diarrhea and freaked out. It was over a year before I was able to try again.
I knew she could do it, but she just didn't want to. She's an incredibly stubborn child, and everyone kept telling me to wait until she was ready (except for my mother who called each and every day from 15 months to 3 years to see if she'd been "potty trained yet.") Finally I just gave up out of frustration. As 3 approached I started to get more anxious, but she kept refusing to go or even get on the potty. One day, her friend was over for a playdate. Her friend had been potty trained for over a year already. Well, Maddie went with her to the bathroom once and watched while she used the bathroom herself. The next day Maddie decided she was ready and by 3 days later wasn't having any accidents during the day or night. It was a matter of when she was ready, and the peer pressure finally got to her.
My youngest, on the other hand, was a different story. Don't hate me for this, but... I got extremely lucky and my oldest potty trained my youngest for me. I hadn't even planned on starting to work with her (especially after the struggle with Maddie) but one day I heard Maddie yell out, "Mommy, Josie used the potty!" I ran in the bathroom to find that Maddie had taken off Josie's diaper and helped her sit on the potty. After that, Josie barely had any accidents either. Yes, I know how extremely lucky I am, but I also feel as if I had enough trouble with my oldest to deserve it with my youngest.
*And just a warning to other potty training parents, beware those automatic flushing toilets in public restrooms. They can create some serious issues if they flush while your child is still on it: Issues that require you to dash home each time your child needs to go because she is too scared to use a public restroom.
Posted by: Alecia | Oct 23, 2008 at 02:22 PM