baby bunching Q/A: the big boy bed transition

We received a question from Baby Buncher Laura in California who is moving her youngest into a big boy bed in the same room with his brother.

Q: I was wondering if you or anyone else in your group has an idea about transitioning #2 into a "big boy bed" when the kids are sharing a room. I'm afraid it will be a huge party every night.

A (from Cara): My boys were 2 and 3 1/2 and sleeping in separate rooms in a crib and toddler bed when we did this. We transitioned to the same room and big boy bed for both in one fell swoop. I was all prepared for battle, but it went pretty smoothly!  Now, that’s not to say that some nights we don’t have parties, but for the most part it’s ok.

The main things we did to prepare were:

• Shove the bed up against the wall on one side and buy a bed rail for the other side
• Remove most toys from the room (if you can)

We did leave a small bookshelf, and we had a really hard time with them pulling all the books off and trashing the room at night. So what we did was tell them that whatever books we found on the floor in the morning, we were going to take away and they would have to earn them back. It took several days of taking away books before they noticed their supply dwindling. Then, each morning the room was neat, they earned the books back a few at a time.

Our boys like the door to their room open and the hall light on when they go to sleep. We tell them that if they are goofing off and we have to come up, the first time we will shut the hall light off. The second time, we will shut the door. The third time we will lock it (with one of those doorknob locks on the inside). Needless to say, we only got to #3 once or twice (we came back and take off the cover after about five or so minutes and they went RIGHT to sleep).

The key to this technique is not to yell, argue, or explain when you do the consequences. Explain the plan, and when they goof off, just flip the light off – don’t say a word. If you have to go in again, just shut the door. If they have turned the light on, turn it off AND shut the door. It’s kind of along the same lines as 1,2,3 Magic. Now we all know siblings like to have a good time and some of my best memories growing up were of goofing off with my sister when we slept in the same room, so we try to give them a grace period of some amount of time (depending on how late it is when we tuck them in) so they can unwind a little. But when enough is enough, start implementing the warning plan.

(from Linda): My kids don't share a room at home, but when we go to grandma's house they do. I usually put my kids to bed at different times because they do a lot of screwing around, and not with toys just each other. Mainly because my youngest likes to be silly and my oldest really wants to sleep. I'll put the little one to bed first and get her settled and then sneak in the big boy. He thinks it's fun to stay up later than his little sister.

As with everything, it really depends on your kids temperament. We'd love to hear if anyone has some other suggestions for this.

Comments

[Casey]

We ran out and bought a toddler bed when I was pregnant with my second but then we soon discovered that we need to keep him in his crib as long as possible since he likes to get into trouble. I'll keep this post in mind for when we finally use that toddler bed...