props to baby bunchers

Baby Bunchers, have you ever noticed that your children make people tired? Not just you (that’s a given), but the people around you? Because of the recent addition of a new baby, we’ve just had a string of out-of-town family visitors at our house (grandparents, aunts, etc.). I would like to preface this post by saying that my husband and I have the best families ever. We both lucked out in the in-law and sibling department and everyone is super, super flexible about going with the flow and doing whatever is best/easiest for our kids. When they come to visit, they eat whatever, do whatever, and help out however they can. We could not ask for a more supportive family.

But we have noticed that long-term exposure to our children results in extreme guest fatigue. Of the Rip Van Winkle variety. All guests fall into bed exhausted at the end of the day, and most of them have to escape for a siesta at some point during the day. Mid-afternoon causes visitors to our house to fall into a glassy-eyed stare and sometimes fall asleep on the couch sitting up, ala Jeff from the Wiggles. Everyone is secretly glad when we strictly enforce the children’s 8 pm bedtime (the one specifically designed to allow my husband and I to restore energy and get up and do it all again the next day).

And I’ve noticed a gradual escalation in exhaustion with the number of children that we have. All baby helpers started out gung ho when my oldest was born, eagerly jumping up to perform even the most mundane tasks. With the arrival of Baby #3, we find ourselves changing a lot more diapers and bathing a lot more children while our helpers volunteer for tasks like holding the (quiet) baby. Or running out to pick up the pizza for dinner.

When I first noticed this phenomenon in the grandparents, I chalked it up to “aging” (mind you, none of our children’s grandparents have even hit 60 yet). But then I noticed the same pattern in my sisters. Which is interesting because one of them is a teacher and faces a classroom full of middle school students every day.  Which would be my personal hell.  The other one is a college student and actually nannies for two small children when she isn’t staying awake 24 hours a day for multiple week stretches for sorority rush activities. Yet MY house sucks her dry?!?!? This is when I decided that my children must be legitimately exhausting. 

I feel compelled to note that ironically enough, the only visitor NOT to poop out is my co-host on this blog, who came to visit recently at the very end of my pregnancy when I was absolutely exhausted. She left her own children behind for the weekend, but with boundless energy she bathed, fed and read stories to mine. And then actually mentioned wanting to come back sometime soon in a phone call the very next week! Now THAT is a friend.

Along the lines of Linda’s favorite Baby Bunching comments, if I had a nickel for every, “Wow! I don’t know how you do it!” I get when out and about with my kids, I would my children's college funds fully funded. I know that it is alarming for people to see a woman with 3 boys under the age of 5, but honestly, how I do it is I don’t have a choice. I really don’t think my children would take it well if one day I woke up and said, “Hmm - I just don’t think I can do it today.” First they would break into the pantry and consume an entire box of Cheez Nips for breakfast and then they would probably burn the house down somehow. I “do it” for my own protection.

Yes, my kids are super hyper spaz attacks active.  But over the years, I have developed a gradual immunity to the insanity (my severe hearing loss helps too).  To the point where I was brave enough to recently add another baby to the mix. And I realized that I should be really proud of myself.  Parenting is never an easy job, but parenting a small pack of closely spaced children is definitely one of the most challenging ways to tackle the job.  And not everyone is cut out to do it this way.  So when the going gets rough, I take a minute to pat myself on the back for "doing it".  And you should too!

 

Comments

[Kate]

I know what you mean. Whenever we have house guests, there is a point when I look around and think, "where did everyone go?" (note to self: they're hiding)

[treen]

Honestly, I find it a little baffling that so many people are so amazed at mothers with more than 2 kids. Are we THAT far removed from when it was normal to have 6 or 8 kids in a family? And all from the same parents! I grew up in a large family, nice and neatly spaced out at approximately 2 years apart, and let's do the math - 4 kids and the oldest is 5 1/2. No big deal. At least I didn't think so.

[Michelle]

I totally agree. My great-grandparents & grandparents have 'aged' too. When the first one was born they came every week. Then the 2nd was born and they came 2x a month. Now the 3rd one is born (only 4 years later) and they have only visited him in the hospital so far. And yes, my family seems to need a vacation everytime we visit them. They are SUPER helpful, but when we leave I can almost hear the house sigh from relief (relief from the level of noise & chaos that surrounds us at any given time). And i DEFINITELY could pay my kids college tuition if I had a nickel for everytime someone said, "three boys, whew!" or "wow, you are busy".

[Ann Marie]

Even though my "baby bunches" are now almost 3 and 4 1/2, I feel like our family is more worn out during visits than they ever were during the baby years. I so appreciate their tireless efforts to play with my children but I know it is exhausting. When I take them to the airport, I tell them that I am not offended that the minute they walk through security (ALONE!) I know they will feel at peace!