Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

baby bunching vacation

Traveling with children is always a bit tricky. Traveling with your Baby Bunch--especially early on--involves some serious fancy footwork and may leave you needing a vacation from your "vacation." Certainly there are times grandmas need visiting for extra hugs and people get married or die so it necessitates some kind of travel, but really if you can avoid "vacation" with your little bunch, I'd advise you wait until your youngest is about two years old.

Vacationing/traveling with your younger bunch means strollers, carseats (plural), travel cribs, toys, bottles, and so much more gear than you can possibly imagine. Not to mention sleepless nights and tired kids.

We just returned from our first REAL vacation with our kids since, well, I had both kids. The last vacation we took was a trip to Syria (daring Americans that we are....Alex was 10 months and I was five months pregnant). After that we've done some visiting of relatives here and there and took one weekend away to the mountains. But no real vacation since winter of 2005. (Minus two international moves where family came close to throwing us out of the house.)

Why is it that we've not ventured to Disney or the beach before? Well, it's because of our little 'bunch.' Up until about six months ago no one was willing to sleep in an unfamiliar bed, and we were exhausted from even on overnight trip.

I know a few Baby Bunchers who have braved international trips to Europe and even done the whole African safari gig. Unless it was fully paid for by someone other than me and my parents came with us, I would never try this adventure. Not because I don't want to go, but because I don't want to go with my kids! But more power to those who have done it and succeeded.

The reason for this post was our most recent vacation to the Outer Banks (North Carolina). We went with another family, obviously enough another Baby Bunching mom. Her kids are the same age as mine (16 months apart), but she braved it all by having her third 2 years after the first. So there we all were. It was a great vacation for us. My kids loved the beach and it was by far the easiest trip I could imagine. No muss no fuss. Minus the sand everywhere. But my friend, God love her, had a one- year old to contend with--even an even keeled one. But babies still needed bottles, snacks, naps, bedtime routines, places to roam, (in a not so baby friendly house), stroller, high chair, etc. And she was a GOOD baby!

My idea of vacation, since I had kids, has certainly changed. Once upon a time vacation meant sightseeing until I could see no more, walking/hiking until my legs ached, drinking until I couldn't stand and eating until no more food would fit. Vacation was all about the "anti-everyday." And so it goes. Vacationing with children is a bit different, as you probably know and we've altered our expectations. We do more low-key things that can be quickly abandoned when necessary. We eat at family friendly food facililties like.....places that serve chicken nuggets and have high chairs. Did I really say that? So it's really a balance of break for us/break for the kids. Fun for them/fun for us. Vacationing with a two year old and eight-month old.....not fun for anyone. Please, please let someone contradict! 

Our week-long trip to the beach was wonderful. Would I have done it two years ago with a one year old and a two and a half year old? No way! Vacation time will come. Spending money to travel and stay for two under two is hard. If you don't have to, don't. But I'd love to hear the vacation stories if you have them.

safety in numbers

My kids are not at all shy and are very independent. I can leave them at babysitters' houses, childcare, school, camp and they never seem to look back--as long as the other one is with them.

I imagine this is what it must be like for those with twins. As far as my kids are concerned, they have always had the other one around. My son was only 15 1/2 months when his sister was born so "his world" has always included her. Now I won't attribute their outgoing nature and independence to Baby Bunching, that I'm sure has been a result of moving many, many times and having to adapt and make friends quickly. But I do think having each other makes it easier when the environment does change.

This summer I had the chance to see them rise to the occasion with being left--almost anywhere.

Summer Camp #1: Took the kids down to see my parents in Richmond. We signed them up for morning camp at a strange place. I was sure my daughter would flip out the minute I left. Nope. As long as her brother was within sight, she was fine.

Wegmans' Child Care: This is "we babysit while you grocery shop." (Can you think of a better idea?) I wasn't sure if my kids would go for this drop off. Nope. As long as they were together, it didn't matter that I wasn't there.

Summer Camp #2: Dropped them both off the first day, they were in separate groups. I was sure she would flip. They seemed comforted knowing the other one was without sight.

Ikea's Smaland (babysitting while you shop): Again, my kids couldn't get in the ball pit fast enough and actually cried when I came to get them because they weren't done playing.

Summer Camp #3 (Ok, I know you think I overdosed on summer camp, but can you blame me?): I dropped them both off the first day. They both told me to go away so they could play with their friends. They were in the same group and I KNOW that helped.

Today at an outing at a local farm my daughter says to me: "Mom, can you just wait here so Alex and I can go pick peaches. We'll be OK just the two of us."

Sniff sniff....I was almost sad, but relieved that my kids really felt that good being with just each other. School starts in a month and I hope it will be a very easy transition since they will be across the hall from each other during the morning.

to bunch or not to bunch: that is the question

One of the questions I frequently get asked is, "Knowing what you know now, would you choose to Baby Bunch again?"

Let me preface this by saying that I NEVER intended to be a Baby Buncher.  Nor did Linda.  Before I had children, the only Baby Buncher I knew was my cousin (who also did not intend to be a Buncher - see a pattern here?).  Her kids were 20 months apart and honestly, I thought her life was way too crazy.  I wanted time to savor and enjoy each one of my babies. 

Enter Baby #1.  I had a (relatively easy) pregnancy, labor and delivery.  About 5 hours after he was born I remember thinking, "I could do this again!"  And he was the world's easiest baby.  Next thing we knew, by the time he was 8 months old, we were expecting his brother.

I'll be honest and say that the first year and a half after my second son was born was not easy.  Actually, it was pretty hellish.  He was NOT so much the easy baby.  And to make matters worse, easy Baby #1 had turned into a demanding, strong-willed toddler.  To make matters even more worse, my husband decided to quit his job and go back to business school to get his MBA.  I remember very little about July 2005 to the spring of 2007, including Baby #2's babyhood.  All in all, it was a pretty sucky two years.

During this timeframe, my Baby Bunching cousin became a beacon of hope.  Because she was still too busy to talk on the phone, through her mother (my aunt), I heard stories about how much easier things were now that her tots were 3 and 4.  How they played together.  How they were out of diapers, eating regular food, walking instead of riding in the stroller, etc. etc.  It gave me hope that one day, I too, would be able to pee uninterrupted and perhaps even finish a meal. 

Fast forward two years.  I am peeing uninterrupted and finishing meals!  Or at least I was, until I had another baby recently.  But I digress.  With a new baby in the house, my Bunched older two have been my saving grace.  They are built-in playmates, keeping each other entertained during nursing sessions or when we are stuck in the house so the baby can sleep.  Because they are so close in age (and both boys), they are interested in the same activities and can even be in the same swimming/gymnastics/art/music/soccer/etc. classes sometimes, which keeps me from running all over town like a fool trying to keep everyone happy in different activities.  They can now wear each other's clothes.   I am definitely seeing the payoffs!

So, knowing what I know now, would I do it again?  I think so.  As a friend who bunched all three of her kids (they are all a little over one year apart) put it, "Yes, it is crazy in the beginning, but it's a phase of your life.  It's just a few years.  It's not a lifestyle for everyone, but it worked for our family."   Baby Bunching worked for us.  My boys are best friends for life, and we've just added a third brother to the mix.  He is spaced far enough from the second (three years) that I am able to savor his babyhood, but he will still be relatively close in age to the others.  For our family, it has worked out nicely.

I'm curious to hear what others think.  If you could go back and do it all over again, would you Baby Bunch and why or why not? 

going back to work

Before my son was born, I knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, that is, until he was born. I will openly admit to NOT being a baby person. When my son was two months old, I reclaimed my part-time contract gig for about 10 hours of work a week. It was something fun (OK, survey analysis is never fun, but it different than breastfeeding and poopy diapers) for me to do in the after hours that gave me a sense of being "me" still. But soon I was pregnant again and trying to keep up with a baby and my little bit of contract work. I could see this would be a challenge. (Side note: I remember dropping off the project near the end of my second pregnancy and the director of the school saying "Last time I saw you, you were about this pregnant. Wasn't that last year?" Hardy har har.)

When Anna was born, I wasn't sure how I could handle freelance work, but I was ready to go back when she was about 6 weeks old. (Seriously, I needed wanted to escape the chaos of everyday life.) But when I sat down to do the numbers, it didn't make sense for me to go back. Childcare in Sweden before the age of one is pricey, and Alex didn't have a preschool slot. Paying childcare for two "babies" wasn't cheap or worth me even working. So I took another part time work from home job--working nights and naptimes.

In the research for our book, we discovered that many women "baby bunched" for this reason. It's easier to hop off the career track, have two babies right in a row, take two years off, then go back. This way you haven't missed out on too much time and can essentially keep your contacts.

Funny enough, this is the way MANY Europeans and Canadians do it with their lengthy maternity leaves. Have baby. Take year off. Get pregnant during that year. Have another baby. Get another year off. Go back to work with job waiting. The Europeans have the Baby Bunching down to an art form by working the system. Way to go Ladies!

But here I am with a four and three-year old and so ready to head back to work. For me, we come back to the money. I am one year away of my oldest starting kindergarten, which means free childcare during the day + my youngest will be able to go to 5-day preschool at that point. So, waiting one more years, means I can go back to working part time without the high cost of childcare. In the meantime, I'm trying to continue the blogging and freelance writing to at least "keep up my game."

So the question is when to head back to work. Does it make sense to wait until your kids are a little older and childcare is cheaper? I imagine the decision to go back is similar one that moms to twins face. Daycare for twins is probably pretty pricey. Daycare for Baby Bunchers isn't going to be much better until they are a bit older. It's a hard call to make sometimes. I'm curious how other moms handled this decision.

baby bunching tip #4: divide and conquer

As my husband and I sit here with a long to-do list trying to map out the week/weekend, I am amazed at how closely planning our week resembles developing a strategy for battle.  Getting it all done (or even some of it) involves a little strategy we like to call "Divide and Conquer".

One of the biggest Baby Bunching frustrations for us was that when our Bunch was really little, we felt like we worked until we dropped of exhaustion, yet we never got anything done or had anything to show for it at the end of the day.  Sure, we fed/watered/bathed/napped/tucked in our children every day (and changed about a million diapers in between).   We also entertained them, reading countless stories and becoming more proficient in knowledge about every playground within 30 miles of our house than we ever thought we would.  We did 3 loads of laundry a day, cleaned the kitchen several times a day, and swept the floor daily and mopped/vacuumed it three times a week.  We picked up toys CONSTANTLY.  We scrubbed the bathtubs and toilets about every other week and changed the bedding weekly. We stayed on top of bill paying.  We grocery shopped weekly.  And that was about all we could do.

Meanwhile, anything "extra" (yard work, paint touch up, car maintenance, home repairs, and even some errands) fell by the wayside as we struggled just to stay on top of daily life.   Sometimes we would get ambitious and try to tackle a project or an errand of some sort, only to end up frustrated by the constant stream of interruptions from the wee ones.  Finally we gave up.

At some point along the line, we realized that it didn't make sense for both of us to be clustering.  Because the kids were so young, it was impossible to do anything with them around.  One of us could be managing the children while the other attained sweet freedom to do errands and chores that were previously (as in pre-kids) considered distasteful.  Suddenly, a trip to the grocery store without children became as eagerly anticipated as a week long trip to the Bahamas in our pre-child days.  Using this 'Divide and Conquer" strategy, at least only one of us was struggling.  Our net productivity increased a little.

As our bunch got a little older (i.e. about 2 and 3), we realized that the kids had gotten a little bit easier and it was possible to do selective taks/errands with one of them, but not both.  So we started splitting them up and each of us taking a kid.  We got  even more productive.

By the time we recently added #3, we were seasoned pros.  We refuse to let being outnumbered by the children slow us down.  Now the older kids (3 and 4) function pretty much as a unit.  For the most part, they can handle and enjoy participating in the same errands/tasks.  Which means according to the tasks, one of us takes the "big kids" and the other gets the baby.  This is working out well so far, but it will be interesting to see how the dynamics change as baby gets older and more mobile.

We've come a long way since the early Baby Bunching days.  Our household is carefully orchestrated controlled chaos.  We outline what commitments are on the calendar, what other tasks need to be done, and what the children are most likely to be able to handle.  Then we shuffle everyone around to achieve the closest thing to max productivity that we are capable of, given our family composition.  Do we always work our way through our massive to-do list?  Never.  But we're definitely making more progress than we used to.  Divide and Conquer is a lifesaving strategy, but it took us longer to learn it through trial and error than we would have liked.  Hopefully, this post will save some of you early-stage Bunchers the pain.  If anyone else out there has got any other tips for maximizing productivity with your Bunch in tow, we'd love to hear them...

even great grandmas get it

I just received this email from my friend, and fellow Baby Buncher, Sharon. I met Sharon through my mom's group when I dropped off dinner to her and her family. Like me, she seems to get herself in "fixes" quite often. I always thought I was the only one with stories like this, but clearly, I'm not.

I took Hannah and Henry to see their great grandmother who is 91 and lives in a independent retirement community. The place is fancy...an upscale community for seniors to live out their days with the comfort of assisted living in the same community. They eat all meals in a lavish dining room.  When great grand kids come to visit it is super special and all the residents gawk at each others kids yet in the same strange way look like they don't want them there invading their space.  My grandma was gracious enough to suggest having us over for Sunday brunch...the residents all dress their best for this brunch...men in coats and ties...and women in their best slacks and cardigans. 

Eating in a restaurant is tricky with a two year old and a ten month old....then add the mix of eating in a restaurant where you have to be on your best behavior.  My two kids couldn't have been more misbehaved for our special meal with Great Grandma.  Henry (10 months) was practicing his reaching skills and trying to get every last thing off the table including the table cloth...all while Hannah was trying to get out of her seat and trying to top Henry's screeches.  Mind you...this is all taking place with the eyes of all the surrounding seniors looking like they have never ever seen toddlers or babies.  I wanted to hide.  Really. 

So...just when I thought I couldn't handle it anymore a brilliant thought came to mind.  What about skipping the lunch and just giving Hannah a lollipop to keep her in her seat and quiet. This way I could semi talk to my grandma and tell her how wonderful things are going. It worked like a charm.  We were able to handle Henry and it kept Hannah quiet.  So when that lollipop was done I did what any other desperate mom would do in a situation like this...I gave her a second one.  Really how many lollipops could it possibly take to get to the end of the meal?  She soon realized she would get more the faster she ate them and began chewing them and wouldn't you know started choking!  Yes...in the middle of the lunch I had a gagging toddler on my hands and a screaming baby who was knocking over water glasses.  No sooner that I got her out of the seat she dislodged the piece of lollipop and gagged and then projectile puked all over the lavish dining room carpet.  Yes...there I stood...screaming baby in arms...toddler covered in puke and great grandma on oxygen and with her walker looking in shock from what just unfolded in her pristine dining room that rarely saw children.  Check please!  We cut the meal short and just left along with the table of four diners that were sitting next to us that were totally grossed out. 

On the walk back to my grandma's apartment she tried to make light of the situation and told me...you know I once lost your aunt Judy and didn't know she was missing until the neighbors returned her to me.  It was her own way of letting me know that she was able to survive having two so close in age.  My mom and my aunt are less than two years apart as well. It goes to show...you can survive and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger! And one day you will be that grandma making your grandchildren feel like they are normal :)

baby bunching Q/A: friends for #2

We are so excited that y'all are reading this blog and passing it along to your friends!  Some of you are even starting to email us your questions, which makes us feel a little bit like Oprah.  Thank you for showing your love!  We will periodically try to tackle some of these reader questions.  For our inaugural Q/A post, we selected...

Q:  DD #1 is in Pre-K this year, which leaves me with DD#2.  Until now, they've always had the same friends.  What do I do now that DD#1 will have her own school friends?  Who will #2 play with?  Plus, she's just starting to be excluded from #1's playdates and friends' birthday parties and it breaks my heart to see how upset she gets.  Have you had this experience yet? 

A (from Cara):  Yes.  In fact, your question is timely because this weekend we are celebrating Drew's birthday party and I tried to pull off inviting only "his" friends, instead of Cade's (i.e. their joint friends).  Drew has amassed, from two years in preschool and three years in MOMS Club playgroups, a grand total of 5 friends.  And 3 of them cannot make it to the party.  So I invited a few of Cade's friends in the neighborhood to up the festivity factor a little.  When told who would be attending the party, poor Drew immediately commented, "But [insert name of Cade's friends here] are Cade's year, not mine!"  So he is acutely aware of where allegiances lie.  Of course, last week when I asked him about making new friends at school this year (in a discussion unrelated to the party), he told me he didn't need new friends because he already had a friend named Cade.  (Baby Bunching Perk Alert - Twiblings are Best Buddies!)  So maybe I should just invite Cade to the party, stick a candle in a cupcake, and call it good.

The obvious answer, since I can't very well keep Cade locked in a tower playing with Drew, is to find friends for Drew.  In light of the fact that Cade will be in school more this year, I am making it my mission to help Drew make more friends.  I have two mornings a week with him where Cade will be in school that I plan to devote to reaching out for playdates with existing friends and new classmates.  The new baby makes it a little hard for us to do classes of some sort (Little Gym, Music Class, something), but if I didn't have #3 behind him, this would be part of my plan of attack.  Finally, (fingers crossed that Drew's preschool teachers aren't reading this in case I lose my nerve and change my mind) I am seriously considering volunteering to be his room mom so that I can try to organize some social functions between moms and kiddos on the days we don't have school.

Note that cultivating more friends for Drew will inevitably result in scoring more friends for mom, which always a welcome thing!  A Baby Buncher can't ever have too many moms in her support system.

Good luck tackling this topic and as always, readers please share if you have ideas to add!

time out from kids: a night away

Getting mommy time is a difficult task when you're a Baby Buncher, getting time away with your husband is even harder. The list is very short of those who will sacrifice time and their own energy for your bunch, especially when the kids are so little.

But once the kids get a little older, it's a  bit easier to take a night away and leave the kids with grandma and grandpa. Our first night away from the kids was when Anna was 9 months and Alex had just turned 2 years old. It was one night and two full days and worth it in every sense. Since then we've had four opportunities to dump the kids with my parents, and I fully realize this is a lot. I really could use about once a quarter, but I'll take what I can get.

Today I'm in Boston WITHOUT the kids. My husband travels to fun and exotic places around the world. In fact, he just finished up his grand "European vacation" I call it to five fabulous countries. Somehow, though, the stars and planets aligned, and I was able to dovetail a trip to Boston for TWO WHOLE nights! I'm not sure how much of hubby I will see, but even a dinner together is better than nothing.

Back-to-back kids can put a strain in any marriage what with the back-to-back pregnancies, constant hormone changes, body changes and lifestyle changes. But a couple can only survive so long talking of schedules and temperaments. A night away from your kids with your husband can do wonders for your marriage and for you.

For me, time away means:

• I miss my kids. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and when I'm away, I miss them like crazy!
• Falling in love with my husband again. OK, this trip I may not see him much, but in general, we're able to look beyond the mess of the house, the dishes, the chores, the noise and see each other as individuals instead of just "parents."
• I have a chance to reflect on things, everything. Who has time to really think and converse at a daily dinner data dump. It's nice to move beyond the mundane to real discussion and thoughts....even if it's only in my own head. :-)
• Getting to know me again.
• Moving at my pace. I love to drink coffee in the morning while I read the paper. Not just flip through the paper, but really READ the paper. I also like to finish my coffee...not just gulp it down and leave it half full.
• Sleeping in beyond 7 a.m.

breast for success

Many Baby Bunchers will tell you that one of the hardest things about Bunching is breastfeeding.  The closer the spacing between your children, the more difficult it becomes because it is hard to get a decent feeding in for Baby #2 when Baby #1 doesn't have the attention span to finish a book or even an Elmo DVD (desperate times call for desperate measures).

I nursed my oldest for 9 months, when he decided that he'd had enough and weaned himself.  I have to credit my mom with helping me establish my awesome milk supply.  She basically insisted that I do nothing but nurse and drink water for the first weeks of his life.  As a result, I had enough milk to feed the whole neighborhood.

When my second came along 17 months later, I took it for granted that it would all be so easy again.  But it wasn't.  I partially blamed the baby and his lazy suck, but in retrospect, I really didn't do much to help us out.  I was too busy chasing after my toddler to stay home and nurse, too busy to drink water and eat well, too busy to sit still and ensure the baby got a good feeding, etc.  It just didn't work out.  I started supplementing at 3 weeks and gave up around 4 months, beating myself up about it every day.

This time around, with Baby #3 (3 years later), I am determined to make it work.  I have a MUCH greater appreciation/respect for breastfeeding for the following reasons:

• Cost - I barely bought any formula for #1.  By the time he quit nursing, we had just enough time to blow through the hospital formula samples and a few formula checks and it was time for him to switch to real milk.  With my second, who required the expensive partially-digested formula, my wallet definitely felt the pain.
• Convenience - I never appreciated this with my first.  Truthfully, I found it a pain in the neck to deal with leaking boobs and pumping.  This time around, I fully appreciate being able to go anywhere, anytime with baby without packing a giant diaper bag full of feeding materials.  I just grab my little diaper changing wallet and the baby and go.
• Cuddle - The first time around I found nursing to be a little isolating, honestly.  I was sometimes irritated that I always had to be the one to feed the baby and frequently had to sneak away from the action to find a quiet place to feed the baby where he wouldn't be distracted.  I felt like I was missing out.  This time, I am grateful for the excuse to seize quiet time with my new little one.  I have been chatting with my friends/relatives/husband, etc for a very long time and my baby will only be small for a short time.  There's nothing they're talking about that could be more interesting than gazing into my baby's precious eyes.

This time around, I am making every effort to make nursing a priority.  Having said that, my two older children are as demanding as ever, so I still face the challenge of how/when to fit it in.  Here are a few tips that I'm picking up on Round 3 that might help Baby Bunchers behind me.

• Call in reinforcements for the first few weeks with the new baby.  In our case, we had family come to visit.  In a friend's case, she continued to send her oldest to daycare in the mornings while she was on maternity leave, which allowed her to get in a few solid feedings in peace and quiet.  Have your husband take vacation time or hire a babysitter if you have to - you will appreciate the investment later.  The first few weeks are absolutely critical in establishing your supply and you have to nurse, nurse, nurse.
• Drink plenty of water. I have a 24 oz water bottle that I fill up three times throughout the day, in addition to whatever juice/milk/soda/etc. I drink at meals.  You don't have to over-drink (in fact, my most recent lactation consultant told me that over-drinking can be detrimental to your supply, which I hadn't heard before), but stay well-hydrated.  Filling up my bottle helps me keep track of how much water I've had a lot easier than drinking a million glasses a day.  If you find it hard to sip throughout the day, then chug a bottle before or after each meal.
• Feed every 3 hours religiously during the day. I have lucked out and all of my kids will go decent stretches at night as newborns (anywhere from 5 to 7 hours).  Against the doctor's advice, I let them do this, but then I make sure to feed every 3 hours like clockwork during the day.  And let them cluster feed all evening if they want to - they are filling up their little tanks to get ready to go through the night.  Just go with it - it's worth a few hours of extra sleep!
• Get a minimum of two really good feedings in.  It is hard to stay home and nurse when you have an older child to entertain.  But do yourself a favor and make sure that you get at least one very solid mid-morning or mid-afternoon feeding in peace and quiet for as long as the baby wants to eat, with no distractions.  You can skimp and do a quickie feeding for one outing a day, but you need to make a commitment to the other one.  Commit to the first morning feeding as well - it is usually easy to make this a good one because no one is awake but you and baby!  Don't count on the evening feedings to be your best - this is when your supply is typically lowest, plus you will be trying to deal with the dinner/bath/bed routine for your oldest.
• If your supply allows, pump whenever you can get away with it and stock your freezer.  The art of pumping is a great mystery to me - one that I haven't ever really mastered because I didn't go back to work full time after my kids were born.  I just have the Avent Isis hand pump, which has worked just fine for me, although my friends insist I would do even better with an electric pump.  What I have done with all three boys is take advantage of engorgement.  I would feed on one side (typically more than enough milk for them in the beginning) and pump the other and toss it in the freezer.  Even now, once my supply is established, if there is a feeding where my little one seems full/satisfied after one side, I will pump the other and store.  It may mean that he is hungry again in 2 hours instead of 3, but I have scored a small stash of White Gold in fridge/freezer for times when my supply is lagging or I need to leave food for someone else to feed him.

I know this has been a long post, but hopefully you've found some good information if you've made it to the end.  Please share your own tips for success and experiences with other Bunchers!

baby bunching tip #3: preschool for thy older child

School is soon to start in many areas, and in our house everyone is excited about school! If you are a Baby Buncher, which we assume you are since you're reading our fabulous site, we hope one of your "bunch" is going off to school soon.

Preschool can totally save you if you're at home with your kids. If you're like me, you may not have even considered preschool/childcare for your firstborn. But the minute I found out I was pregnant with baby #2, I realized I would have to find some time to clean, shower, do laundry and drink my coffee. To complicate things, we moved from location #1 about 6 weeks before baby #2 came, and we moved to location #2 about 6 weeks after baby #2 arrived. So I came to a strange new land with my bunch, including a newborn baby. Did I mention we didn't have furniture in our house for another 6 weeks? Oh, life is funny.

Back to preschool, get your kid in one. Get over the mommy guilt of sending big child off for a few hours of fun at school or the equivalent. Preschool means three important things:

1. Time for your toddler to play with friends his own age.

2. Time for you to spend with the newborn alone. This can translate to quality breastfeeding time without the numerous interruptions.

3. Time for you to get chores or errands done. This also means a mini break for you, which in turn means you're refreshed when your toddler comes back home.

I am sure I parent better on the days when I have a break from my kids. Here's the thing. When you're a Baby Buncher, there's no room for martyrdom. Accept help when it's offered. Take it when you can get it. You'll be better for it in the long run.

Preschools for little kids can be hard to find in some areas. In my Northern Virginia area, you have two choices: full-time daycare (which fill up like crazy) and part-time preschool (which normally doesn't start for kids until age 3). But Cara, who lives in Atlanta, was able to start both her kids at age 1 for one day a week. This is awesome! This gives you some time, even if it's just an hour to get a few things done without the chaos of two. Check out the Savvy Source's guide to preschools as a start. If that doesn't get you where you need to go, then start asking around. You will be amazed what preschool can do for not just your toddler, but for your whole family.