I just received this email from my friend, and fellow Baby Buncher, Sharon. I met Sharon through my mom's group when I dropped off dinner to her and her family. Like me, she seems to get herself in "fixes" quite often. I always thought I was the only one with stories like this, but clearly, I'm not.
I took Hannah and Henry to see their great grandmother who is 91 and lives in a independent retirement community. The place is fancy...an upscale community for seniors to live out their days with the comfort of assisted living in the same community. They eat all meals in a lavish dining room. When great grand kids come to visit it is super special and all the residents gawk at each others kids yet in the same strange way look like they don't want them there invading their space. My grandma was gracious enough to suggest having us over for Sunday brunch...the residents all dress their best for this brunch...men in coats and ties...and women in their best slacks and cardigans.
Eating in a restaurant is tricky with a two year old and a ten month old....then add the mix of eating in a restaurant where you have to be on your best behavior. My two kids couldn't have been more misbehaved for our special meal with Great Grandma. Henry (10 months) was practicing his reaching skills and trying to get every last thing off the table including the table cloth...all while Hannah was trying to get out of her seat and trying to top Henry's screeches. Mind you...this is all taking place with the eyes of all the surrounding seniors looking like they have never ever seen toddlers or babies. I wanted to hide. Really.
So...just when I thought I couldn't handle it anymore a brilliant thought came to mind. What about skipping the lunch and just giving Hannah a lollipop to keep her in her seat and quiet. This way I could semi talk to my grandma and tell her how wonderful things are going. It worked like a charm. We were able to handle Henry and it kept Hannah quiet. So when that lollipop was done I did what any other desperate mom would do in a situation like this...I gave her a second one. Really how many lollipops could it possibly take to get to the end of the meal? She soon realized she would get more the faster she ate them and began chewing them and wouldn't you know started choking! Yes...in the middle of the lunch I had a gagging toddler on my hands and a screaming baby who was knocking over water glasses. No sooner that I got her out of the seat she dislodged the piece of lollipop and gagged and then projectile puked all over the lavish dining room carpet. Yes...there I stood...screaming baby in arms...toddler covered in puke and great grandma on oxygen and with her walker looking in shock from what just unfolded in her pristine dining room that rarely saw children. Check please! We cut the meal short and just left along with the table of four diners that were sitting next to us that were totally grossed out.
On the walk back to my grandma's apartment she tried to make light of the situation and told me...you know I once lost your aunt Judy and didn't know she was missing until the neighbors returned her to me. It was her own way of letting me know that she was able to survive having two so close in age. My mom and my aunt are less than two years apart as well. It goes to show...you can survive and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger! And one day you will be that grandma making your grandchildren feel like they are normal :)
This is totally something that would happen to me. I use candy all the time as a bribe for silence (bad mommy) and have lived through many restaurant puking disasters. But I've never combined the two - and never added a grandma on oxygen to the mix....
Posted by: Kate | Aug 25, 2008 at 03:10 PM
oh my goodness !!! sounds like you have a wise grandma
Posted by: feener | Aug 25, 2008 at 03:16 PM
Cute story. While you were stressing during brunch, I am sure you brought back many happy memories to the now much much older mothers and fathers who were in the room. You never know what joys and bits of happiness could have been remembered then.
Posted by: Ellen | Aug 25, 2008 at 10:06 PM