Mom Blog and Baby Blog | Baby Bunching

ready for second car seat?

When it comes time to put the second car seat into the car, you may wonder where to start. The car seat might be in the middle--which is ideal for many reasons, one which includes not kicking your seat. This topic was discussed today in my mom's group so it had me thinking on why we decided the arrangement we did. As Baby Bunchers, you don't have the luxery of a child who will play with toys very long or even read a book. You do have to worry about toys being hurled at the baby as well. Yes, it's true. It will happen. When my daughter was born, I started by putting the baby behind the passenger seat. I thought it would be better to see her and be able to hand items to her. Well, a baby doesn't need much handed to her. So after spending much time diving down to pick up lost toys behind my seat, we decided to move my older child behind the passenger seat.

This set up worked well for us because as unsafe as it was--believe me you will do many crazy things--I could still pick up my toddlers' toys and wedge a bottle pacifier into my baby's mouth (all while driving a stick shift). As a side note:  a manual transmission does not mix with Baby Bunching. 

things never to do with two under two

There is a time and place for everything. But when you have two under two, there are certain things/places you just shouldn't attempt. Believe us, you have been forewarned should you try to attempt any of these.

Never attempt Ikea by yourself, or for that matter, at all. You may be lured in by all the Swedish names and fun colors. Don't let their kid friendly-place fool you. Ikea is not for your right now. Someday soon, when your kids can be dropped off in the babysitting ball pit than it might be your bag, but not now. Not even with the 99 cent meatballs.

Never go to the library. I'm not sure whose great idea it was to have story hour at the library for two year olds, but generally speaking, I have yet to ever meet a mother who thinks this is a good activity for both her kids until the youngest is about three, or maybe even four. LIbraries are quiet. Babies are not. Libraries invoke learning and while your toddler wants to learn, his idea of learning is running through the stacks tearing down books. No two year old will sit quietly for storyhour and no baby will either.

Never pass up a high chair at a restaurant. No matter how well your toddler may sit at home in her chair, if you're out with both kids, never pass up an opportunity to have everyone strapped in.

Never attempt the Department of Motor Vehicles with your kids. I don't care how many fun activities you brought along for you kids, DMV meets waiting. Waiting means someone is bound to have explosive poo, need to eat or fall on their face at some point. Nevermind the fact that you're trying to keep all your papers organized and look like a role model citizen.

every baby buncher needs a double stroller

Double strollers are everywhere these days. Either a result of children close together or innovative stroller company employees to expand beyond the Graco DuoGlider. Pretty much any configuration of stroller you can imagine is now available. So if you’re in the market for one, where do you start? Which one will work the best for the longest period of time and not put you in the poor house? As a mom who is almost out of the stroller phase completely, I will share my wisdom of 2 years of double strollering + input from friends.

The good news: there is a nice variety of double strollers to pick from these days that will take you through most of your double stroller years.

The bad news: there is no perfect stroller. Strollers are not merely a form of transportation for your wee ones.

Strollers are highchairs, beds, places to strap in a child when you need to help the other, or respite from a long walk. I only wish it was about getting from point A to B. Strollers are probably the single most important piece of gear that you own—next to your car and dishwasher of course.

For those with two so small, a stroller is essential in getting you out of the house and about your daily life. So, why isn’t there a perfect stroller out there? If a stroller could grow and change as your children did, perhaps there someday might be a perfect one. [A few recent strollers now do come close to this.] A 6-week old baby who sleeps 90% of the time uses the stroller to nap. An 11-month old baby who is ready to see the world, may use the stroller to play with her feet. An 18-month old 30-pound baby defies any reason to be in the stroller. But you all know this, you have older children.

I am a stroller fanatic. I am to strollers like my husband to cars. In fact, if they had a stroller magazine (aka Stroller and Driver), I would seriously subscribe to it. Double strollers are no different. When my two were little (ok, before my youngest was even born), I research strollers like crazy. I was the proud owner of a Mountain Buggy Urban, which I will most definitely say is one of the best investments we ever made. But at $350 I wasn't ready to part with it after the birth of my daughter or invest another $700 for the double version. So, I got by the best I could on what I had and could afford. Which ended up being a compilation of many different things, all the while wishing I had the “perfect” stroller.

If you have two children less than two years apart, in your early or even later months of pregnancy you may ask if you even need a double stroller. The answer is a resounding YES. If you children are 14 months apart, your oldest will be walking probably, but you will still be doing a lot of carrying him or her around as they tend to not walk in your desired direction. If your children are 22 months apart, he may be a more skilled walker, but I guarantee he will still poop out in the middle of zoo. It may be a long walk back to the car.

They now make every type of stroller imaginable. Tandem (front to back), twin (side-by-side), sit and stand, double jogging strollers, double 3 wheel (front to back), toddler attachments for the front and toddler attachments for the back. My first piece of advice is that if you can’t afford one of the expensive multi-purpose strollers that you can take to the mall and for a walk, then I would go the second-hand route and buy strollers as you need them as your needs change. (You would be surprised how much people give away on Craigslist or Freecycle.) In the end you may still come out ahead. We started out with a single stroller and the Baby Bjorn until my daughter was about 4-5 months old. We then moved on to the double. My youngest loved to sit in it, by my oldest wanted to have nothing to do with her sitting so close. We had a few months where they would sit together. Soon, I had to abandon the double altogether due to constant fighting (hitting, leaning, picking, pulling, pushing). When my youngest was about a year, we sold our double stroller (InStep Safari TT), and bought a double umbrella stroller. It was then, my two decided it was OK to sit next to each other. The problem with this, was they were both so heavy by now (27 and 35 pounds) that I could barely push the stroller with both in it. Now that I'm in the later stages of stroller life, my biggest regret was not making an investment in the Phil and Ted E3.

In research for our book, I asked moms of two under two on several yahoo groups what strollers they found to be the best.

Best strollers and why:(all feedback from moms)

Phil and Ted E3
Pros: Single stroller width with a double stroller attachment. Maneuvers like a single. All terrain. Great for the mall too.
Cons: Expensive. Small storage space. One child sits low to the ground.

Mountain Buggy Urban Double
Pros: Very easy to maneuver. Great on all terrain.
Cons: Expensive. Bulky in the trunk. Harder to use at the mall. Double stroller width.

Peg Perego Aria
Pros: Easy to maneuver. Light and small for in and out of car.
Cons: Not great for walks on anything other than sidewalk. Can be hard to push once older child starts getting close to 35 pounds.

Graco DuoGlider
Pros: Great for a newborn since you can clip on a carseat. Easy to get through aisles. Lots of storage space.
Cons: Harder to maneuver. Takes up lots of trunk space. Not great for long walks.

Jane Powertwin
Pros: Compact for a double stroller. One-handed push. Plenty of storage space. Fits carseat. Stadium seating.

Joovy Sit and Stand
Pros: Can fit infant car seat, older child can sit or stand. Lighter than the DuoGlider, takes up less trunk space than DuoGlider, can essentially turn into a DuoGlider though when you need that configuration.
Cons: Harder to maneuver. Not great for long walks.

Kolcraft Contour Double Stroller
Pros: Easy to navigate, great flexibility with seat configurations.
Cons: Heavy, seats much face a certain way to fold all the way down.

Knowing what I know now, which one would I have invested in? Either the Phil and Ted or the Jane Power Twin. For my needs, both shopping and walking, the investment would have been worth it. The weight of any of these? If you have a garage to store them in, a good multipurpose double stroller to use for a few years, is worth the money and weight.

tummy & tot: tips for those expecting baby bunchers

I'm dedicating this post to those I know who are expecting that second baby.

So I have had a few people ask recently about pregnancy with baby #2 and a toddler (under the age of 2) in tow. The question always seems to be the same, “how did you do it?”

I laugh when I think about this now. I still remember the day I stood there looking at the positive pregnancy test. Alex was playing on our floor somewhat happy. I looked at the pregnancy test, and I actually started to cry and so did Alex. How was I going to manage this? Alex was 7 months at the time, and I was pregnant with baby #2.

Anyone reading this who is in the same boat or even if you spaced yours a little better, knows that it’s going to be hard and you will learn many things, but in the end, you will like the decision. You might decide you wouldn’t do it again (like I have), but you will probably learn to love the close ages of your kids.

I love that while my friends with 3-year olds are just starting to have second babies, my kids are already playing together. Not always nicely or fairly, but they can play together with Legos, dress up, playdoh, house, knights, spaceman, etc. I’m done with sleepless nights, should I choose not to have more kids. I’m done with Baby Bjorns, strollers for the most part and bottles. There are definitely pros to having kids close. And aren’t your old maternity clothes still in style?

Pregnancy is tough enough, but with a baby under one it can be a bit tricky. Here are a few suggestions for those taking the plunge:

Surround yourself with other moms who have 2 or more kids. Find someone a bit ahead of you in this game. You’d be surprised how many people out there have kids this close (under 2). They will be your best source for info. They are happy to provide you with tips on getting people out of the house or feeding the crew.

Find some kind of “child care” for your older child. No, I’m not talking about signing him up for daycare, but I won’t tell you how many days I longed to just go to work and let someone else deal with this. Find a mother’s morning out program, a preschool program for an 18-month year old, a gym with good child care or even a part time nanny. You don’t get a medal for doing this all yourself so get some assistance. Even a few hours a week to collect your sanity is worth it. Your older child will enjoy having a new face and other children to play with and you’ll enjoy the break. Do this early and introduce your older child to the situation before the baby comes.

Get a second crib. Borrow one, buy one used or whatever. If your child isn’t in a big bed, don’t push it. Cribs provide a safe place for your toddler. Cribs better ensure that naptime continues when new baby comes. Cribs mean you can put your child in there to read/play while you nurse or deal with a diaper change. If you can make it work financially, get another crib. You can always sell it later to another mom in need.

Gear can be overwhelming so wait and see what you need before you buy. I will tell you the one big thing that saved my life the first few weeks was the sling. The Baby Bjorn I used later, but with a sling I could feed the baby then she’d nap and then just hang out. All right there with me while I had hands for Alex. If I knew then what I know now, I would have invested in a great double stroller. Even after dropping $350 for my Mountain Buggy (my husband wants me to write Ode to the Mountain Buggy) I still wished I would have sold it and bought a Phil and Ted E3.

Get some extra help for the first few days/weeks after baby comes. I’m talking mom, sister, aunt, hired babysitter, etc. Those first few weeks are so hard feeding and dealing with a toddler who doesn’t understand this new life that has invaded on his territory. Most babies just eat and sleep, but you might be doing a lot of nursing and that can be hard when your hardly walking toddler needs something. Give yourself time to recover because you’ll need the energy and see if relatives or friends can pitch in with dinners or babysitting.

If your child isn’t on a nap/sleep schedule, get him on one. It will make things easier if you know you count on a nap and a good bedtime. I had friends that struggled with this and realized too late they should have done this before the new baby came.

If your child looks ready to potty train and shows interest, go ahead and do it. You may have some regression when the new baby comes, but at least the hard part is over. Trust me. It’s much easier doing this with only one child to focus on.

Take a vacation. This may sound like a crazy thing to do. We took a trip to Syria when Alex was 10 months old and I was 4 months pregnant. It was nice to get away from Qatar and see some sights. It was over a year before we could do this again. If you have a chance to take a long weekend—with or without your toddler—I recommend doing it. It’s a lot easier to travel with one than two.

At the hospital, let them take your new bundle the nursery to sleep. If you’re like me, I insisted my first born stay in the room the whole time. Poor Anna, I sent her away the second night just so I could sleep and get caught up for the next day when we went home. It was the best thing I did for myself.

I'd love to hear what other tips moms might have for those embarking on this great adventure.

ikea is not kid friendly

Found an email from a few years back (Alex was almost two and Anna was 6 months old)

So this morning, I decided if everything went OK with getting Anna down for a morning nap, we would venture to IKEA to make a return and pick up a few things I needed. IKEA is only about 20 minutes away, but for me that seems far enough since that means 40 minutes of travel time. Anna went down early enough and I kicked into high gear--got the dishes cleaned up, Alex read to, my hair washed and everyone dressed. I had the bag all together with bribes and snacks and bottle and when she woke up I threw everyone in the car. We got there early enough that there was plenty of parking. The return line was a bit long, but Alex enjoyed running around and playing and Anna was excited to be sitting in her carseat in the cart. I knew I would not be able to manage the double stroller through IKEA so I opted for the cart. You know, or Cara knows at least, I have to run through all the possible transportation combinations BEFORE I leave the house. So after the return, everyone was happy and smiling. So we quickly went to get the things on my list. Done. We ended up at the kids section so Alex could play a bit. He did. Then Anna decided she needed a snack. Great, I was prepared. We went and I fed her and bribed him with some snacks. Everyone was doing so well, I though, why don't we eat lunch here.................

That was when the beginning of the end started. Lesson learned was leave when everyone is happy and not a minute after. I was all set to call Andrew and tell him what a great outing. Everyone so nice and happy. Then just as I mentioned meatballs to Alex, Anna started to flip out. But Alex was now ready for lunch having told him all about it and convinced him. The line was a struggle as I had to bring the cart with our coats, purchases, Anna, etc. But then, how do you carry a tray and push a cart. Alex had to get back into the shopping cart and kept trying to pull meatballs off the plate while we waited in line. We sat down and I held Anna while Alex ate. Then Alex decided he was done and pushed his chair back and started to run away. In Sweden you have to bus your own table and take the tray to a tray slot holder thing. Pain in the ass for all of those managing too many kids. So I had to put Alex back in the cart while he was screaming, Anna was screaming. And I had to run to take the tray. When I came back 2 seconds later, people were stopping to wonder why 2 kids were left screaming. Duh, if I could I might have stayed away longer. Hee hee. So I threw everything into the cart, some of the stuff even on top of Anna and away we went. EVeryone around me was laughing. I'm sure it was a sight.

We managed to make it home without anyone falling alseep.......so now they all rest comfortably in their beds. Ahhhhhhh

Moral of this story: Don't go to IKEA with 2 kids alone and leave when they are still happy! Next time, I'll get it right for sure.