Baby Bunching

baby bunching Q/A: the clean sweep

We received this question from Sara a few weeks ago on our Facebook page. Please feel free to chime in with your thoughts and if you have other questions, let us know. We're trying to get to them each Wednesday.

Q: I have two boys under 2 right now; 17 months and 4 months. How do I keep my house clean without going crazy and spending all my free time cleaning?

A: First of all, try not to get discouraged when you look around and realize that your house looks like it was hit by a tornado. In the early months of Baby Bunching, this is pretty much unavoidable, so don’t beat yourself up. Once upon time before kids, we would spend a whole day cleaning the house. Now we both tend to clean in stages. (Clean the bathroom while everyone is in the tub.) The easiest (and most expensive) solution is get a cleaning lady. But even with that she many only come a few times a month so you have to keep it together in between.

The number one thing to keep in mind is to let things slide a bit. Lower your expectations and do what you can, when you can!  So surrender to your house and let the mess roll off your back. We promise that this, too, is temporary.

Here are a few things to help you hold down the fort and "fake it" in the meantime.

• Bunch your babies = Bunch your toys! Buy big bins or containers and shove your toys in them. Organizing toys for babies and toddlers is an exercise in futility – spare yourself.  You can go through once a quarter or every six months and pare down/organize, but day-to-day just shove/hide it in a container.

• Along these lines, have bins/containers on each floor. Let it go that toys are everywhere.  You will save yourself trips trips upstairs to the nursery/playroom if you have toys on the ground floor where you will spend most of your time – next to the kitchen.

• Do yourself the favor of “re-setting” – pick up toys, clean kitchen each night and enlist hubby’s help.  It is a sanity saver to start the next day with a clean slate.

• Have one room that is picked up/organized (or easy to quickly pick up) that you can spend time in. Even if it is only your bathroom or closet.  You will at least have one place where you can go and feel like some aspect of your life is under control.

• Likewise, have ONE ROOM that toys can just get tossed in (bedrooms or out of the way playrooms are great).  When guests come and you need to look clutter-free, just throw everything in there.

• Have one major chore assigned to each day (ex. only do grocery shopping on Monday, only mop on Tuesday, etc.)  This alleviates some of the overwhelming “Where to start?!” feeling that comes with 5 free minutes of time and gives you some focus for what to do that day when you get a few free minutes here and there.

• Don’t clean your kitchen 15 times a day.  Clean it once after lunch, if you can get to it, and once before you go to bed.  All other times, shove stuff in the sink and wipe down the counters – at least it will feel tidied.

• Only sweep your floors once a day (but wipe up sticky spills as soon as they happen).  Resist the temptation to get a dog to lick up crumbs if you don’t already have one.  While this may seem like a great idea, you do not have time to keep one more thing alive.

• Keep Clorox wipes under the sink. (What did we ever do without these!) Once your youngest is safely able to sit in the tub, swipe down the sink/toilet while the kids are bathing. Along these lines, keep a small container of all supplies you need to clean your bathroom under the sink, as well as extra rolls of toilet paper.  This way, when you find yourself with 5 extra minutes, you can quickly clean instead of running all around the house to chase down supplies. 

baby bunching challenge: all around the dinner table: part II (getting there)

Yesterday we covered how to get everyone around the table, but sometimes the hardest part is getting the food there in the first place. Rushing put dinner on the table with a screaming hungry infant and a toddler underfoot is no fun at all. Over the years, we've learned that the key to dinner time sanity is simplification and pre-prep. 

No matter how much you may love to cook (and we both do), your culinary skills are lost on your toddler. Again, that's not to say that you have to eat garbage all the time, but cut yourself some slack and save the fancier dishes or experimentation for the weekend when your hubby is around to entertain the kids.

Regarding pre-prep, there are are a few ways to get ahead of yourself so the witching dinner hour isn't such a mess.

• Cara's personal favorite (on days she doesn't work) is to start dinner at naptime--even if that's morning naptime. It may seem strange weird, but getting this done without the wee ones underfoot will save you later on. Start crockpot meals in the morning with chopping and dicing done the night before.
• Menu planning is key.  Sit down on the weekend, plan out what you're going to eat and when, and stick it on your fridge for daily reference.  As a bonus, planning ahead means that if you are REALLY organized, you can cross-reference with the grocery circular to plan around what's on sale and maybe save some money too!
• Cook double meals on the weekends. Things such as meatloaf, meatballs, casseroles, chili, soup and pasta sauces double and freeze well. It's no extra work to make twice as much at once and then you can pull something yummy and homemade out of the freezer on a busy night instead of driving thru!
• Cook a bunch of meat (ground beef, chicken, etc.) at once, divide into meal-sized portions and freeze.  You can then easily defrost later and make spaghetti, tacos, chicken soup, etc.
• Keep cooked pasta in the fridge to toss quickly with shrimp (sold ready-to-eat – peeled and de-veined)/chicken/beef and fresh veggies such as baby spinach, tomatoes, onions and peppers.
• Buy packaged, pre-washed, read-to-eat vegetables. They cost a bit more but will save you time in the end.
• Always keep spaghetti sauce on hand.
• Especially in the summer time when it's too hot for the oven, throw the entire meal (meat/fish, vegetable, potato) on the grill.  Drizzle with olive oil and wrap in foil or put on a skewer and cook directly on the grill. Foil packets can also be baked in the oven…easy cleanup is a bonus!

And of course, if you’re not a fan of cooking, there are numerous meal assembly services to help you pre-make weeks worth of meals at a time (A Dinner A’Fare, Super Suppers, My Girlfriend’s Kitchen, Let's Dish, etc.)  These are actually reasonably priced if you do them in bulk or split an order with a friend.  One caveat – they are delicious for grownups, but sometimes not the most toddler-friendly foods, so choose your entrees carefully.  Also know up front that most of them involve only the main dish and a cooking time of at least 20 minutes, so you will still need to allow time for them to cook and plan for side dishes. But, hey – that beats slaving over the whole meal for hours of prep, cooking, and cleanup, right?

What have we missed - we're always looking for ways to simplify, so do share your tips and tricks!

toting for two: diaper bags

By the time you are in your last month of pregnancy with Baby #2, you'll have downsized your diaper bag significantly. No more of the giant-ass baby diaper bags where you haul everything in God's creation + the kitchen sink. You're likely down some to a swank Skip*Hop diaper wallet in a cute bag.

When Baby #2 arrives, we're sad to report you'll probably have to upgrade again since now you're toting for two.  

There are an assortment of diaper bags out there in every size, shape and color. It can be overwhelming, but we're guessing since you probably already have a bunch on hand from Baby #1, you'll know a bit more about what goes in and what you can leave behind. (Note: Always have wipes, diaper, change of clothes in the car, too.)  I'll admit to going through about four different bags during my first year of Baby Bunching, always trying to find the right one to go with my ever adjusting assortment of crap. We've put a few suggestions for our favorites at the end of this post.

There are a few things to consider if you're in the market for a new diaper bag:

1) Find the smallest bag possible to hold all your stuff. Lay everything you need in your bag out and find one that fits everything and gives you enough room to stuff a baby fleece in if you need to. You're not going ANYWHERE without a stroller so in a pinch that can hold excess stuff. Why do we recommend small? Because you are already juggling a baby, toddler, a stroller, some kind of carrier/sling and some carseat. Don't weigh yourself down with a big giant bag, too. Believe me, when you're physically balancing it all, a lighter bag is better!

2) Don't be fooled by tons of pockets. You need to know how you use your stuff. If you're like me and you just toss everything into one bag, don't fall for the pocket or compartment gag. It just means you'll have to look in more places than necessary to find the binky. If you love having it all organized, go for it. (Secretly, I wish I could be you).

3) When things fall into the deep, dark cavernous crevices of your bag, it's because it's dark. Get a bag with a light (or better yet white) tinted interior. Yes, I may show all the Goldfish crumbs, anyone who judges you by the tidiness of your diaper bag interior is not your friend anyway.  All my diaper bags except for one were black inside and it was impossible to find anything. With a light interior you're 50% more likely to find things quickly. (Yes, I made up that stat. Sounds good, huh? But I bet it's true!)

4) Finding the perfect bag is like find the perfect stroller. It depends on what you do and where you go. If you're leaving it at the sitter's house, then a big giant bag may not make a difference. But if you're an urban girl maneuvering through narrow streets, something smaller is going to be better. Consider these two things a) Find a bag that attaches in some way to your stroller. Even if it means buying an after market hook to keep it there. b) Find a bag that you can throw on your back or across your chest like a messenger bag.

Now, I personally don't have any great recs for diaper bags. I used a Maclaren bag for a while and I liked it enough to use it a second time around. Cara loved her Skip*Hop which was big enough, yet small enough and coverts from messenger to stroller bag.  She also used an Eddie Bauer Sport Sling Diaper bag, now only availalble on eBay probably, but beware the dark interior!  Lands End also makes a smaller bag called The Little Tripper. I bought their bigger version with my first baby (which ironically they don't make anymore) and it was so huge I could use it as an overnight bag. I ran across the Ju Ju Be "BeLight" bag which really says it all. You probably aren't ready for something quite this little, but it's quite possible if you're packing light this could do it. I love that the inside is also light colored (they're reversible, too).

Now, you know we only endorse things here at Baby Bunching that we think are really, really great for Baby Bunchers. I have not tried this one out, but think this is quite possibly the coolest thing ever. The Kemby Sidekick Diaper Bag/Infant Carrier Combo is a diaper bag that converts to a carrier in a pinch. Some mom was definitely thinking. Wow! I'm not sure how long you'd get use out of this, but it says it holds a baby up to 35 pounds so if granny wants to get a another gift for Baby #2, perhaps this is the one to get!

We're all about fun, funky baby stuff. So we'll leave you to pick out those on your own. Just a few tips here from us on what to keep in mind when toting for two....

handling your hand-me-downs

The weather is starting to cool off, which means it will soon be time to pack up the summer clothes and bust out the fall/winter duds for your Bunch.  If you are still in the critical first two years of Bunching, you will likely find that "busting out" means nothing more than shifting clothes from one child's dresser to the other's since you never quite got them put away in storage last winter.  In my case, a constant stream of boy babies coupled with the fact that babies grow out of everything so quickly meant that I often felt as if I was drowning in a sea of baby clothes until my boys started hitting size 2T and wearing things for longer than five minutes. 

After awhile, I did develop a system for managing my off season clothing hand-me-downs (sytems are KEY to a Baby Buncher's success).  Your approach will likely vary depending on the spacing and genders of your children as well as your available closet space, but this will at least give you an idea of how I (attempt to) stay on top of the mountains of children's clothing around here.

• Invest in a few large plastic bins with lids to stash in your kids' closets.  You can label them by size (0-3 months, 3-6 months, etc.) and toss clothes in there for the next child when they become too small for the oldest.  Don't worry about neatly folding the clothes, but labeling the bins is critical – even if it is just with a marker or piece of masking tape.  Otherwise, all your organizing will be for naught! Be sure you have washed the clothes and remove stains, as spit-up and formula stains worsen over time.  
• When the bin is full, stash it in the attic or basement.  In my case, as my kids got older and I found there was only a few months gap between when they got tossed in the bin and worn by the next child, I just labeled the bin “Next Season’s Clothes, Both Boys”.  I toss all hand-me-downs, as well as any end of season sale purchases for the next year, in the bin and pull it out at the beginning of each season to inventory what I have for each kid and what I still need.  This also provides easy access to the occasional jacket or shorts needed in the off-season.  
• To keep it all under control, I use a little system I call Purge and Pass.  In addition to the hand-me-down bin, I have another bag for give-aways or consignment items.  This is stuff that is it decent shape but that I won't use for the next child for whatever reason.  I keep an ongoing bag and every once in awhile, I take it to Goodwill, pass along to a friend, or consign it.  Anything that is beyond ratty goes straight to the trash - please don't inflict that on Goodwill!  I usually quickly itemize the bag before I donate it and then staple the list to the tax receipt and file it so it's all ready for tax season.  Purge on an ongoing basis as you go along so things don't pile up and overwhelm you.

After 5 years, I've fine-tuned this system a number of times.  I was pretty proud of myself last spring when I realized that between my well organized hand-me-downs and few end-of-season sale purchases, Middle was pretty much outfitted for the summer without any additional purchases!  Hope it works for you, or please share your own suggestions.  Happy organizing!

car organization: what every buncher needs in the car

As I sat through the OfficeMax Blogcast today with Peter Walsh, I realized a few things about organization--a key point, which is to have everything you need within reach AND organize everything first then buy containers to fit them. And while he was mainly talking about organizing paperwork, I think you can apply some the lessons learned to organizing your car.

Unless you live in a major city, you probably spend a good deal of time in your car everyday. Just like you keep your home and office organized and equipped and somewhat streamlined, you also need to be smart about what's in your car beyond just car seats and toys.

What You Should Store in Your Car:

1) Every mom needs a "just in case" bag of some kind. It doesn't have to be an actual bag, but the contents need to be there. What's in it will change as your kids grow so make sure from time-to-time that you update it with the correct size diapers and clothes. In your car, you need an extra outfit (for each kid and preferably even you) and extra diapers/underwear. This will save you from having to carry it around in your diaper bag since you just have to make it back to the car to change.

2) Wipes. Even now with my kids at 4 and 5 we have wipes in the glove compartment for all kinds of fun things. Sometimes I even use them as entertainment and let them "wash" my windows to keep them quiet.

3) A towel. I ALWAYS have a towel in my car. I have used this for so many things including wiping the slides at the playground after the rain, cleaning up spills, changing pad, etc.

4) A few toys/books/crayons. Even if you don't want your car looking like a toy store, keep a few items (and rotate them out) to throw back at the kids for entertainment purposes. I like to keep these up front so they appear new now and then. Plus, they are great to have on hand for restaurant trips.

5) Music. We're big fans of kid music (most of the time). Rotate out the music so it's fresh for everyone.

6) Snacks. Even some raisin packs, juice boxes, crackers, etc. are great to have on hand in case people are STARVING at some point. (Isn't that all the time.) My husband fusses at me for this one, but I don't care.

7) Bags. Plastic bags are great for nasty diapers, wet clothes, or using as a liner for a potty. Just keep a big ball of them in the bag. They're great to have on hand. AND you can always use them at the grocery store for....groceries.

8) Potty. When my kids were potty training, we kept an extra potty in the back of the car for playground trips--sometimes Although as soon as you think your kid is potty trained you'll wish you had left the potty in the car. (Tip: Just leave it in the car.)

9) Jacket or sweater. I can't tell you how many times we get somewhere at some odd time of the year and someone is cold. Just keep one in your car. I promise you will be glad you have it. Nothing sucks more than having to go home because people are cold. (You might keep an umbrella in there for you, but kids don't care about getting wet.)

10) Mini first aid kit + more. Keep a few band aids and Neosporin around for incidentals. Vaseline has been a good on to have on hand for many things (diaper rash, chapped lips, boo boos, etc.) And in the summer sunscreen of some kind and bug spray.

11) Dixie cups and plastic spoons/fork. I know this sounds strange, but this is another one that doesn't take much. Just keep a few in there for sharing with friends or dividing out a bag of goldfish so kids don't have to share. Snack traps are great, but in a pinch bathroom dixie cups will get the job done for older kids. And a giant bag of plastic spoons/forks has been a lifesaver so many times. I don't know why, but it has.

12) Hand sanitizer. Really, need I say more?

13) Reading material for mom. There have been many times that I'm stuck in carpool line, kids are napping or we're waiting for the library to open. Throw a few catalogs or magazines for your own reading enjoyment just in case people are quiet in the back seat and give you a minute to relax.

Now that you have everything you need, how do you store it? There are all kinds of fun "car organizers" for these things. But really, you just need a few boxes of some kind. Ones you can hose down tend to be better. Keep the wipes, hand sanitizer, magazines, music, toys, snacks all within your reach. I keep the cups/spoons in my glove compartment. The rest can be thrown in the trunk. Keep the things in up front one container so you can move it when you need to and the rest in some kind of trunk container. I never leave stuff between my kids because they just hurl books at each other. But if your kids are better at that game, then keep the toys back with them.

I'm sure I'm missing something so please share with us what you keep in your car to help keep you organized. 

what's for dinner: getting organized in the kitchen

As with other daily chores, such as laundry, the amount of spent in the kitchen correlates directly to the age of your kids. It peaks when your youngest starts eating real food until your kids can sit down at the table with the rest of family. get their own ketchup and eat everything on their plate without whining or spilling.

While you may be in the kitchen all day fixing snacks and playing the role of short-order cook, Baby Bunching doesn't lend itself to actual experimentation of culinary dishes...mainly due to lack of time. When my kids were little I had on average 6-10 dishes that were easy and fast to make. I would often make double and freeze a portion of it. And this was perfect for the stage in my life. I didn't have time for things that involved more than 10 ingredients or took more than 30 minutes.

But things have changed in the past few years. My kids now eat more things, I can move beyond the simple 6 recipes and try "experimenting" a bit. But when it came to actually keeping it all organized in the kitchen for the week, I wasn't able to manage. Every week I made a list of things I thought I would make, then I would forget to take out some meat or be missing an ingredient. Every week I was back to my six staples. I had recipe books marked and stacks of recipes I had printed and ripped out of magazines.

Then my neighbor provided me with the solution to most of my cooking problems.

Here is What Worked:

• Get a 3-ring binder (preferably one with a clear plastic cover that you can slip paper behind.)
• This is the time consuming step, but TOTALLY worth it. Put all your recipes into clear plastic page protectors. If you have some that are smaller and have time to print them out as full sheets, it helps, but it's not necessary. Get everything into protectors. It helps when you're cooking from them so they don't get dirty/wet.
• Organize your recipes by type. I have mine by appetizer, main, side, dessert, drinks, breads. But if you want to do it by chicken, beef, vegetarian, spicy, kid friendly...then do what works for you.

Now you're set. Here's how the system works.

1. Every week sit down and quickly flip through my binder of all recipes. It's helpful to have it all right in front of me. I pick out 6 things to make. (Note: One day is reserved for leftovers.)
2. I physically take the recipes from the binder (still in the plastic sheet) and move them to very front of the binder. 
3. Then I make my grocery list from the 6 items I pulled out.
4. I use the plastic sleeve on the front of the binder to hold my weekly menu so it's there to see quickly. Each day I take the recipe I'm making that day and clip it to the frig so I can see it all day and note if I have to marinate or chop a bunch of stuff. This way come 5:00 p.m. I'm not behind.

I started going this route about a year ago, and it has completely saved me from added evening stress of "what to make for dinner?" The hardest part was getting everything in one location, but once it was set up, it's been easy. Now I just rip things out or print things off and slip them in the binder for the next week.

getting it all done: adjusting expectations

I am a planner and a list maker.  My calendar and to-do list drove every aspect of my life, until I had children and they steamrolled all over my life.

When I became a mom for the first time, it seemed every parenting article or book that I read gave the same two annoying pieces of advice for achieving success in motherhood:  1) sleep when the baby sleeps and 2) adjust your expectations in terms of crossing things off your to-do list.  When I became a Baby Buncher, the former became irrelevant, but the latter became the key to my sanity. 

It took me probably a good year of Baby Bunching to realize that if I was able to complete THREE things on my list each day, I was doing really, really good.  That's not to say that I didn't ACCOMPLISH anything, because I certainly did.  I kept two children fed, watered, cleaned, entertained, and safe.  I kept the household moving forward using basic standards of sanitation (that is to say that everyone always had clean dishes and clothes, if not neatly stacked and put away).  I even worked part-time at a job that generated income.  But when it came to the "extras", such as tackling an organizational project, running an errand, or even making a phone call, it was a max of three things per day and only one of them could be an errand.  And sometimes not even that many, depending on how that day's nap trap and constant needs shook out or if the item involved a trip to the post office (all post office errands stay on my list for a minimum of two weeks).  And heaven forbid someone was sick or teething - then it was Survival Mode and all bets for crossing anything off the list were off.

I did find as my kids got older that I was able to check more things off my list.  But now that I have a baby again I'm back to square one.  Only this time, I'm not even bothering to fight it and it's kind of nice.  I figure he'll be bigger in a few years and I'll be back to blazing through my to-do list (which will STILL be never-ending), so what's the point in knocking myself out over it now?  I won't remember if my floor was clean today, but I'll always remember how hard he laughed when I tickled him during afternoon playtime.

conquering mt. laundry

After five years of parenting and three children, I've finally decided that the length of your laundry to-do list is directly correlated to the ages of your children.  Babies generate lots of laundry.  Two babies generate even more laundry.  My experience has been that you get a brief respite around the toddler years, only to see the pace pick up again in the preschool years when the wee ones start tackling finger painting and potty training. 

One of my favorite laundry stories is about a time when we visited one of my dearest girlfriends who had laundry, I kid you not, piled KNEE HIGH across her entire laundry room floor.  I just happened to discover this when I popped upstairs to check on our kids and discovered them playing "beach", which entailed jumping into the "surf" of this poor woman's dirty laundry.  Gross, yeah.  I have teased her about it mercilessly ever since.  Of course, I can laugh since it wasn't me.  Because I've never been that behind on my laundry.  Nope, not me.

I started out staying fairly on top of the laundry when my oldest was born, despite the fact that I changed his clothes 15 times a day because heaven forbid he should experience dampness, drool, food stains, or spit up anywhere on his body for longer than 1.5 seconds.  When the second came along 17 months later, all the baby clothes that had weathered the first boy in pristine condition were destroyed.  Child #2 was not only messier by nature, but possessed a mom that was so overwhelmed by all things baby that she didn't even have time to swipe a stain stick across a garment, more less whisk it straight into the washer before it had sat on the laundry room floor for two weeks.  

I tried every which way to manage the laundry - the one (or even two) load every day technique, the setting-aside-one-day-a-week-to-do-all-laundry technique, the alternating hamper technique (adult laundry one day, toddler the next, baby the next) - all to no avail.  In all honesty, I FINALLY caught up on my laundry when A) I quit my job and B) my kids were 4 1/2 and 3.  Right about that time, I had a third baby and now I'm back to square one.

There are two things that send my best-laid laundry plans awry.  The first is that I have no problems washing or even folding - my problem is putting away.  I have three laundry baskets, all of which contain neatly folded and stacked laundry that sits in them for WEEKS before it gets put away.

My second problem is that while I might be able to keep up with everyone's clothing, there is no margin for error (as with all things Baby Bunching).  That is to say, I can keep clothes clean.  I cannot stop that process to accommodate sheets that someone has pee-peed on, pool towels that have been left in a heap on the porch floor, soiled pants/underwear from a potty training accident, linens from guests that have visited, sofa slipcovers that need washing, and ESPECIALLY not any fine washables (typically mine) that have to be washed or dried on gentle cycle.  Any one of these items creates a laundry backlog that takes me weeks to recover from.

So today I'm sharing a list of laundry tips that either I use or I've heard and keep meaning to try.  Please add your favorite laundry management tips:

Things I Do That Work:

• Do at least one load of laundry, start to finish, every day.  
  
• Fold clothes directly out of the dryer.  Hang them up while they're hot - saves ironing later.
  
• Have a sock bin for socks without mates so they don't languish in nooks and crannies all over your house.
• Have one laundry basket per "group" of people (one for the baby, one for mom and dad, one for big brothers who share a room) and sort the clothes immediately after you fold them.

Things I've Heard About and Have Been Meaning to Try

• Get a 3-divider laundry sorter and put all family clothes in this one sorter so you can stay on top of it and keep it from overflowing.
• If you must have a basket, have only one.  Can't do more laundry until you put the clothes away.
• Buy less clothes, which forces you to do laundry more frequently (Linda swears this one simplified her life).
• Send all the laundry away to have the laundromat do it for me.
• Stop having babies.

toys grow up too

As a young Baby Buncher in a house on the smallish side, I often felt suffocated under the avalanche of baby gear.  The assorted cribs, high chars, Exersaucers, jumpers, Pack-n-Plays, and other big baby gear took up permanent residence in my house for pretty much three years straight and made me absolutely crazy. 

Now my oldest is five and the baby gear, after a brief respite in the attic between #2 and #3, is back out for our third baby.  Only this time, the big baby gear is a minimal source of irritation compared to the avalanche of other crap in my house.  DS #1 favors Lincoln Logs, Bristle Blocks, and Tinker Toys.  When he's not building skyscrapers with these, he's swiping ordinary household supplies like dried beans, macaroni, staplers, and whatever other makeshift art supplies he can use to supplement the official ones in his art closet to build his latest creation. 

DS #2's favorite games are "Rush Hour in LA" (line up thousands of die cast cars all over my house) and "The Great Migration" (line up thousands of rubber dinosaurs all over my house).  Notice that in my house, all favorite toys must adhere to the theme "tiny" and "many".  You can't move an inch  without stepping or sitting on some tiny bristly, sharp, pointy plastic object.  So much for the avalanche - now the house constantly looks like ToysRUs after a tornado.  I am now grateful for the baby's Exersaucer with it's self-contained (read:  attached) toys on the tray.  The sheer multitude of bits and pieces all over my house at all times is driving me to the funny farm.

Right now I'm trying to figure out how to strike a balance between teaching the kids responsibility for their stuff and cleaning up after themselves while keeping myself clear of violating any child labor laws in making them do so.  Truly, picking up all of their toy crap is a 24-hour job. 

On the bright side, when it comes to toys, it's just another one of those times when I'm glad I've got all same-sex kids.  The last thing I need to add to the mix is Barbie shoes.

10 baby bunching basics

Over and over again we see some of the same questions out there for moms who have recently discovered they will become Baby Bunchers. So we thought we'd give you the 411 on Baby Bunching basics in one post. We'll provide links to more lengthy discussions, but this should provide everyone your basic tips for two under two. Please, please chime in with more.

1. Learn to let it go. That means everything, although do try to keep some sanity around. No matter how Type A you were before children or even after your first with naptime, mealtime, etc., you will eventually have to give up some of that need to control. Don't get us wrong, Type A qualities are excellent for organizing your crew and getting everyone out and about successfully, but you will eventually have to learn when to cut your losses, what battles to choose and when to just throw up your hands and give in to power of children.

2. It's OK for someone to cry. This could mean your toddler, your baby or even you. It's really OK for someone to cry. You will learn this about two weeks after your second baby is born. (FYI in case you forget....that's when they actually wake up!) Someone will be crying and if you're super lucky, someone might be crying/fussing all the time. Just learn to like the sound or get some earplugs.

3. Learn to be flexible. Things will change and you'll constantly need to reassess situations. As soon as you figure out how to get everyone to the grocery store, some major baby milestone will change your perfect routine. You must learn to reassess and readjust quickly.

4. Enlist help now. That means whatever you need it to mean for your family. If you can call in grandma for 6 weeks to help, DO IT! If you have a million friends volunteering to take your toddler, DO IT! (We promise your toddler won't care. He'll love the attention.) If you have friends wanting to bring you dinner, TAKE IT! Baby Bunching is not about being a martyr. You will have plenty of time to return the favors, take the help now.

5. Gear (double stroller, high chair, monitor, baby wrap/carrier). If your friends/family have offered to throw a baby shower after you just had your other baby (why wouldn't they, they love you), here are a few things you might suggest: double stroller, a high chair (see our recs), a second monitor, and some kind of way to wear your baby, whether it's a wrap, sling, or carrier. You won't need a ton of gear, but these are either must haves or nice to haves. See if you can borrow a second crib so you don't have to buy another.

6. One-on-one time with either child. This will change quite a bit. In the beginning, obviously your baby will eat up most of your time. But remember besides eating and sleeping, they are good for a good while. So use the early days, weeks to spend with your toddler. As the kids get older, you will have to remember it's quality time and not quantity. There is no way you can spend tons of time with each kid during the first few years. If it means a lunch out with mom with your two-year old alone, that is a good effort.

7. Stations everywhere. You will have baby/toddler crap all over your house. Embrace it and organize it. Think like a preschool teacher and have like items together and labeled if that helps. Why label? Because it makes dad, babysitter, grandma, you put it back where it belongs so you can find it quickly. Have a diaper station on every floor of your home. Put tooth brushes at every sink. Keep socks near the door, in the car and in the drawers.

8. Don't forget your hubby. You need him for this. Even if he travels all the time, you need the moral support. Get him involved and make him an active player in some way. And even if you can't find a babysitter, make a collective effort for some kind of date night once every few weeks so you don't lose each other.

9. When life gets rough, go outside. It's amazing what fresh air and a change of scenery will do for you and your Bunch. Even if it means a stroll around the block, a trip to the playground or just taking lunch out into the back yard, bad times can turn better with fresh air.

10. Don't go it alone. There are more Baby Bunching moms out there than you think. Hit the playgrounds, indoor gyms, local mom's groups and build up your momtourage of Baby Bunchers. Misery wants company and it's great to have these gals on your team!