9 friends every baby buncher needs

One of my favorite activities is to hit the gym in the morning once the kids are off at school and workout to the Today Show. Yes, I know I'm super lame. But I only like the parts before Kathie Lee.

I loved this story. In fact, it came on as I was planning a post in my head about how much a good friend can be vital to a healthy life. Granted, I have no stats to back that up, but I feel a brief tribute to best friends is necessary. Do you have one? When you don't grow up with a sister or close siblings, a best friend can be the absolute best. My co-editor here, Cara, and I met in college. We were roommates, maids-of-honor and Godparents to each other's kids. We share it all. And when I say it all....I mean everything. She is a sister to me in every way. But, we're hundreds of miles apart and probably soon-to-be even farther apart. So when this "6 Friends Every Woman Needs" segment came up on the Today Show I felt as if the Gods were speaking to me.

Apparently, according to this story, having a network of friends can actually increase your life span. No, they're not talking having a million Facebook friends, but a good resource of people who can help complete your friend portrait.

1) Childhood friend: This person knows you. Really knows you. Who you were and who you are now...after the craziness of Baby Bunching. You may not see them often, but when you do it's like nothing has changed and you pick up right where you left off.

2) A new friend: We often get stuck in a rut in our day-to-day Baby Bunching lives. Every once in a while you need a new friend to pull you out. Whether it's someone from your kids' school or a new neighbor. New friends push you to new limits and help you grow and explore yourself beyond the monotony.

3) A workout friend: It is so hard to find time to workout with two little kids. Perhaps they won't stay in the childcare at the gym or you can't find the energy to make it before the kids wake up. Working out, even if it's just a walk around the neighborhood, is crucial for staying healthy, clearing your mind and setting a good example for your children. Even if you prefer to work out alone, finding someone to meet up with makes you accountable. If you bag on them, you disappoint. It makes the workout more enjoyable and something to look forward to rather than dreading.

4) A spiritual friend: Whatever your beliefs, finding someone who can serve as your spiritual peer can help you dig deeper into your soul. It may be hard to discuss religious philosphy over coffee with two kids, but make it a playdate and talk spiritual instead of maternal.

5) A younger friend: You know the newly pregnant mom who moved in down the street? Befriend her. A younger friend, even by a few years or even a few stages in her life, gives you someone to mentor and someone to provide you with new perspective to life.

6) A partner's friend: Your husband's friends can be good for your marriage. Being able to socialize with his long-time pals or work buddies makes for more exciting date nights or gatherings, when everyone enjoys each other's company.

We want to add a few in here as well for Baby Bunchers:

7) Someone who knows your parenting style: You need this one when you're struggling. If you don't let your kids watch TV or you homeschool, finding another parent who is aligned with you can be helpful in your plight. Ideally, it's great to have another Baby Bunching mom who really understands what you're going through and won't judge you for leaving a playdate early or letting the baby cry for a bit in his crib before you get him.  

8) A friend who gets the real you: This can be a hard one to find, but when you do it's amazing. This might even be your mom or your sister. But as you're going through the trials of Baby Bunching, and begin to lose your way, this friend probably can point you in the right direction because they actually know who you are (no rose-colored glasses here.)  

9) A neighbor friend: This is an absolute must! This can mean anyone within walking distance. Especially with small kids close in age, you need to be able to call on someone in a pinch for things. Make sure you return the favors in some way.   

Comments

[Mamameah]

I love this post!

It's inspiring to know that the two of you have each other despite the distance between you. Hopefully that bond will never break!

I've been desperate for a "#4" for years now and make a concerted effort to find "her"...to no avail thus far. I have faith though! Am probably trying too hard which isn't good either :o

#9 has always been a fantasy for me but the demographic of our neighborhood just isn't there. I have a #9 within driving distance and I'm very happy to have her. She also doubles as a #3 and #7 :)

#1's are awesome, like an old pair of comfy jeans.

[mrs.notouching]

This was just in time. My #1 and I were just talking about this same topic via email (she lives in Europe)and I think my problem is that I constantly look for that #8 who would replace the other 7 :-) But you are right - I need all of them and it is really too much to ask one person to be all 9. After all, it would be hard to be all 9 myself.