Baby Bunching

baby bunching Q/A: bad weather errands

This question came to us from Baby Buncher Julie.  

Q: I'm new to Baby Bunching. We have a 19 month old and a 3 week old. Today I had to get out in the cold with both babies to take the oldest to the doctor. Then I had to take them both to the pharmacy. Trying to get them in and out in the cold was a challenge to say the least. Any helpful hints on maneuvering two in and out of cars in bad weather and in places that don't have big shopping carts (like Walgreens)?

A: The never ending challenges of early Baby Bunching. This is one of our least favorite. The quick trip errand to pick up one thing in the rain sucks. Linda says she found this very frustrating in the beginning since she was living in Sweden during this stage and it was cold and snowing for the first 8 months of her youngest's life. Obviously bad weather is unavoidable, but there are ways to get around this.

Our first suggestion is to get your kids used to wearing their coats in the car. Start making them adjust now so you don't have to mess with it later. Turn off the heat, loosen the straps a bit, and just keep them in their coats. It will save you a step and your sanity if you don't have to keep bundling kids up or stripping them down in the car. Fleeces/light jackets and fleece buntings are great for most days because they are light in the car, but can keep kids warm from car to store. We tend not to buy the larger bulky coats for this reason. It's just easier for the car. (The trick is layers.) They will fuss at first, but believe us it will be worth it to just have everyone comply.

Second, consolidate your trips. The game should how not to load kids into the car more than a few times a day. Drive a little farther away to go to the drive-through drug store or hit the grocery store with the pharmacy so you can pick up milk, diapers and bread, too. This is key and may be hard to get used to. The less times you have to go through the car loading and unloading process the happier you'll be. Call husband and have him pick up things for quick trips or find establishments that have everything. Buying dish soap at Walgreens might be more expensive, but that $1 may actually be worth the ease of just getting it right there. We know one mom who needed milk so bad and couldn't deal with her melting down kids that she drove through Wendy's and ordered 10 milks to hold her over until the next day. We love resourcefulness!

Third, make sure you have all the equipment you need. Your car should always have a stroller and, with an infant, some kind of carrier (Ergo, Sling, Baby Bjorn, etc.) For quick trips in and out, a single stroller and Baby in carrier will be helpful. (Always load Toddler in stroller first.) Baby strapped to you is helpful because if there are no carts, you only have one kid to manage and it's a lot easier to have one if the other one is safely next to you. The carrier is also nice because Baby will stay warm and dry. Many strollers have rain shields or extra large canopies and these may help as well in keeping your Bunch dry. As for you, get a coat that doesn't require an umbrella. Nothing is more annoying than trying to manage everyone and then needing to bring out the umbrella for you. If you don't have a rain coat with a giant hood, we recommend you find one.

Remember that the cold or bad weather probably bothers you more than it does them. But good gear (for everyone), a good strategy for hitting your errands (or not), and a deep breath and a smile will help you make it through.  Bad weather doesn't last forever and neither does this stage. Hang in there.

(Car rain boots are from www.polarnopyretusa.com)

fun new 2010 double strollers

We just ran our massive double stroller series a few weeks ago. This is a short post about a few new models on the market for 2010. Seen them? Tried them? Loved them? Hated them? Let us know what you think. (And if you're from the company, we're happy to do a giveaway here.)

Peg Perego GT3 for Two. Now several of our readers have asked us this new stroller. We have not seen this one yet, but it's an interesting option. The price tag is at about $650. That's $200 more than the Phil and Ted. This new stroller offers some intriguing options: easy fold, large storage space (so they say), car seat adapter and the boot is included. The width is comparable to the other in-line strollers at 24 inches. You're looking at a heavier stroller nearing 36-38 pounds.

UppaBaby Vista with Rumble Seat. I spotted this one at a localstore and had to give it a try. It has the Bugaboo look to it so if you're looking for a swankier "buggy y" this is it. UppaBaby has come up with a solution to the strollers flipping when toddler gets in and out. They have designed the Rumble seat to keep from flipping the stroller over. Another bonus is the amount of storage space. I was surprised how much you could throw into the stroller. There are several configurations to the stroller so it gives mom, baby and toddler a chance to rearrange if needed. Beware as the Rumble seat only fits kids up to 35 pounds. But in our experience by that time, kids don't want to be in the stroller very much anyway.  

Baby Jogger City Select. This stroller was recently added to our Double Stroller Guide, but first caught sight of it over at Stroller Traffic. I love the idea that it has 16 different configurations, which includes carrycot and car seats. The stroller with both seats on is 36 pounds, but the flexibility, depending on your situation, may be worth it. The price tag is $500, but to be able to mix and match so many ways...single to double and then back to single is not a bad price to pay. Bonus is the nice storage space underneath.

iCandy Pear. First spotted on Cool Mom Picks, this is the luxury double stroller model that just arrived in the U.S. from Britain. Again, it has multiple configurations that allow you to customize for your needs. Are you noticing a trend here? We Baby Bunchers need options! The biggest complaint by most moms seems to be the seat/canopy height. The stroller is a bit on the heavy side, nearly 40 pounds, and the price tag is hefty: $900. It looks like a fun stroller to drive.

For more of our double stroller favs, check out the Double Stroller Guide.

silver linings of working while bunching

By Corinne

“So [Oldest] just announced that it's not fair that you have to go to work so he wants you to come home and play with him. I'll echo his sentiments. Your family misses you.”

My husband sent me this email last week. I was having an unusually tough time at work. Emails like this one both make me smile and lament missing out on so much of my children’s days. Like these types of emails, working itself has its ups and downs. As the mother of a young Bunch of 3, I’ve struggled with working motherhood and find fellow Bunchers (with young Bunches anyway) a rarity in the workplace. It’s a tough juggling act.

While I was reminded of the downs acutely last week, in general, I’ve finally learned not only to accept my situation, but to enjoy the upside. While I would still gladly trade my job for more time with my children while they’re young, I’m focusing on the positive aspects of being a working mom and letting go of the guilt. Whether you work by choice, necessity or for reasons that straddle the two, returning to work after having a baby is hard. However, there are perks, not the least of which is a simple, uninterrupted cup of coffee each morning, and you mind as well enjoy them.

If you’re gearing up for a return to work after #2 or #3+, you will find the adjustment difficult, you will worry that you aren’t spending enough time with your family, but you will make it work. The anticipation is WAY worse than the reality. You will develop a routine. With the right attitude, compromises and good communication, your family will still thrive.

If you are about to return to work after a maternity leave or extended absence, here are a few things you have to look forward to:

• You will let things go more easily. Yes, your house, your desk and your multi-tasking brain will all be a mess, but you will let go early on [around day 2 of being back to work] of the disillusion that these things need to be neat & organized;

• You will have adult conversation about topics other than children every day. You may even enjoy a lunch at an adult restaurant once in a while;

• You will never look at the clock at 5:00 and find you’re still wearing your pajamas (this happened to me all the time on maternity leave);

• You can run a quick errand en route to work and not have to worry about bundling, strapping, and supervising your bunch to buy an emergency pack of diapers;

• There’s a good chance on any given day, you will feel productive either at home or at work, if only because you’re doing laundry to procrastinate finishing that report for work;

• Workplace goals have a nice finality to them (presentation, done; annual report, done; proposal, submitted) compared to the less concrete daily goals of the stay at home parent (laundry, done for now; meals, never ending; grocery shopping, aborted due to cranky toddler);

• A young bunch will greet you at the door when you arrive home as excited to see you as a pack of puppies;

• You will not have to face the difficult challenge of re-entering the workplace after a long absence to raise children.

As long as you learn to cope with stress, give yourself and your partner a break, and keep all in perspective (easy, huh?), you will come to value every second you have to spend with your family. Even the difficult moments that had me wanting to hide in the bathroom during maternity leave (anyone who’s ever tried to breastfeed while simultaneously putting a toddler in a timeout for pushing your other now hysterical toddler knows what I’m talking about) will be moments that you’ll learn to cherish (ok, appreciate at least).

You will quickly learn that the quality of time you spend with your family is way more important than the quantity.

Corinne lives in the Raleigh/Durham area of North Carolina She has two boys (ages 3 and 2) and a girl (8 months).

how does baby bunching affect your kids?

Several readers have written to ask about how Baby Bunching can affect your children's developmental rates? This seems like such a difficult question to answer because so many factors have to be considered. But I decided to do a little research....for our readers we always go to great lengths. And here is the closest thing I found.

A Harvard study was released in 2006 by two Swedes* who studied just this: Does child spacing affect children's outcomes? Now I need to provide a bit of background on this. Many countries in Europe are undergoing a population decrease. So to help people procreate they offer incentives. In a place like Sweden where many families have to have two incomes to live and pay the high taxes, the government offered an incentive in 1980. A woman could take maternity leave and keep her job at 90% pay if her births were less than 24 months apart. So basically the Swedes were paying for Baby Bunching. Apparently, there was a tremendous increase in Baby Bunching in Sweden after 1980. Big surprise, huh?

I welcome anyone to wade through the research. My wanky statistics class in college made it hard for me to get through so much of the lingo, but I'm going to try to pull some interesting bits out and share.

Overall, their research showed that close spacing has a negative effect on "school performance" and "educational attainment." That actually surprised me. But there are several things to consider here.

First of all, they mention that when kids are Bunched, "childrearing obligations dominate and parents cannot give their undivided attention, commitment or energy to any one child." Hear hear! I'm guessing we all knew this was the case, but hard to read it in print.

Another point they make is "close spacing may also drain economic resources." Their point is that decreased child spacing actually increases your chance of a larger family. If you are 25 and Baby Bunch, you have a larger window of time to expand your family. If you are 39 and Baby Bunch, nature pretty much dictates your family is going to remain on the smaller end. While a larger family holds many positives, they are saying over all attention and resources are limited when you have many children.

After reading this, I wasn't sure what to do with this information. My kids are Bunched and that's the way the cards fell for us. Do I love it? Sometimes yes and sometimes no. Let's be honest here, taking care of kids is difficult. And one of the hardest things is the unknown.

Each phase requires a certain amount of energy and attention: baby, toddler, preschooler, elementary, etc. In the beginning when you find out you're pregnant for the second time while your first is so little, most of us are unsure of what is to come. How hard is it to take care of a toddler? What's it like to be the parent of a preschooler? What will their needs be in second grade? While my kids now take so much less physical energy now, I don't have to hold them or carry them or chase after them, they challenge me constantly on an emotional and mental level. Now at ages 6 and 4 1/2 years old, they need an enormous amount of resource for each of them individually. Even if I didn't enroll them in camps or classes, just school, learning and play takes more time than you realize when your baby is 6 months old.

It's a difficult call to make sometimes. I love my kids and they love each other. I feel lucky that they have each other as built in playmates. It's an amazing gift, but one that doesn't come without hard work on our end as well. The juggling of two tots and multiple diaper sizes doesn't end when they get older. The need to continually provide as best as we can on an individual basis is critical for success. We must remember they are not only a Bunch but individually different kids with different needs. 

To answer the question: Yes, Baby Bunching does affect your kids, but as parents we have the ability to make the choices that will better our children for the future. And in the end, remember your kids will be each other's best friend no matter what. After all, the only other person who really "gets" mom and dad is your silbing, right? The fact that they will stand together as a Bunch to either make you crazy later in life or take care of you when you're old and sick is important.

* Study by Per Pettersson-Lidbom and Peter Skogman Thoursie. Does child spacing affect children’s outcomes? Evidence from a Swedish reform. 2006.
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baby bunching Q/A: babysitters

Q: What are some creative babysitting solutions for my Bunch (ie, babysitting co-op with your friends)?

A: Ah yes, babysitting. Remember the days when you babysat for kids and charged some ungodly low rate to sit and watch TV Those days seem to be long gone. When you've got a Bunch, we bet there are not a ton of sitters lining up at your door to babysit your two under two. We're not going to sugar coat it, finding good, reliable, affordable sitters can be a challenge when you're kids are wee ones.

You probably have different needs for childcare: dinner out with hubby, doctor's appointments, errands, break from kids. Even if you don't have a regular sitter, there definitely are some creative options to getting what you need.

A babysitting co-op is probably the most guilt free way to get free, reliable babysitting. Many mom's groups have these already established so ask around. The basic principle is you sign up with a group of other moms. You earn points for babysitting and use points by having someone else babysit your kids. The best part is there are sites like Babysitter Exchange that manage all of this for you. This model is nice because daytime sitting means your kids probably get a play date out of the gig.

Along the same idea of a co-op is a type of babysitting playgroups. This is a group of moms and  their kids of similar ages. Two moms together watch a group of kids while the other two-three moms go run errands or schedule appointments. It's hectic but if everyone chips in then you only have to "work it" every few weeks.

If you don't have a large group of mom friends for this, consider swapping babysitting favors with a friend or neighbor. Especially when it's evening sitting, moms are usually OK with curling up on a book at someone else's house while mom and dad go out. If your neighbors all have grown kids, befriend a grandmotherly type. You'd be surprised how an almost empty nester might be willing to watch your kids for a few hours one afternoon as a treat rather than a chore.

Another untapped resource is the au pair market. Many of the au pairs come to work for families with school-aged kids. Hiring one to pick up extra work between 9 to 3 means you get a good quality, legal, trained, kid-friendly sitter for a decent price. Others have stayed on to complete school or pick up an extra degree and have better hours available for sitting. They are better suited for taking care of multiple kids.

If you have a school-aged child in your neighborhood (12-16), a mother's helper is another option. We tend to not recommend you go too far with these younger gals, but most are great at helping you when you're in the home and just needing some time to get things done. Or if you have a doctor's appointment, bring them along to help you out. Sometimes all you need is another set of hands. They tend to charge around $5 an hour so it's an option you may want to explore.

Don't forget your gym! Most gym child care centers give you two hours to work out. I know moms (including myself) who bring their laptop to the gym after a work out and follow up on emails, take care of some business or return phone calls. This is a perfect way to get a few minutes to yourself and maybe even have a cup of coffee. The cost is usually built in to your membership, and if not, isn't $1 an hour worth it?

Any other great ideas we missed, let us know.

9 friends every baby buncher needs

One of my favorite activities is to hit the gym in the morning once the kids are off at school and workout to the Today Show. Yes, I know I'm super lame. But I only like the parts before Kathie Lee.

I loved this story. In fact, it came on as I was planning a post in my head about how much a good friend can be vital to a healthy life. Granted, I have no stats to back that up, but I feel a brief tribute to best friends is necessary. Do you have one? When you don't grow up with a sister or close siblings, a best friend can be the absolute best. My co-editor here, Cara, and I met in college. We were roommates, maids-of-honor and Godparents to each other's kids. We share it all. And when I say it all....I mean everything. She is a sister to me in every way. But, we're hundreds of miles apart and probably soon-to-be even farther apart. So when this "6 Friends Every Woman Needs" segment came up on the Today Show I felt as if the Gods were speaking to me.

Apparently, according to this story, having a network of friends can actually increase your life span. No, they're not talking having a million Facebook friends, but a good resource of people who can help complete your friend portrait.

1) Childhood friend: This person knows you. Really knows you. Who you were and who you are now...after the craziness of Baby Bunching. You may not see them often, but when you do it's like nothing has changed and you pick up right where you left off.

2) A new friend: We often get stuck in a rut in our day-to-day Baby Bunching lives. Every once in a while you need a new friend to pull you out. Whether it's someone from your kids' school or a new neighbor. New friends push you to new limits and help you grow and explore yourself beyond the monotony.

3) A workout friend: It is so hard to find time to workout with two little kids. Perhaps they won't stay in the childcare at the gym or you can't find the energy to make it before the kids wake up. Working out, even if it's just a walk around the neighborhood, is crucial for staying healthy, clearing your mind and setting a good example for your children. Even if you prefer to work out alone, finding someone to meet up with makes you accountable. If you bag on them, you disappoint. It makes the workout more enjoyable and something to look forward to rather than dreading.

4) A spiritual friend: Whatever your beliefs, finding someone who can serve as your spiritual peer can help you dig deeper into your soul. It may be hard to discuss religious philosphy over coffee with two kids, but make it a playdate and talk spiritual instead of maternal.

5) A younger friend: You know the newly pregnant mom who moved in down the street? Befriend her. A younger friend, even by a few years or even a few stages in her life, gives you someone to mentor and someone to provide you with new perspective to life.

6) A partner's friend: Your husband's friends can be good for your marriage. Being able to socialize with his long-time pals or work buddies makes for more exciting date nights or gatherings, when everyone enjoys each other's company.

We want to add a few in here as well for Baby Bunchers:

7) Someone who knows your parenting style: You need this one when you're struggling. If you don't let your kids watch TV or you homeschool, finding another parent who is aligned with you can be helpful in your plight. Ideally, it's great to have another Baby Bunching mom who really understands what you're going through and won't judge you for leaving a playdate early or letting the baby cry for a bit in his crib before you get him.  

8) A friend who gets the real you: This can be a hard one to find, but when you do it's amazing. This might even be your mom or your sister. But as you're going through the trials of Baby Bunching, and begin to lose your way, this friend probably can point you in the right direction because they actually know who you are (no rose-colored glasses here.)  

9) A neighbor friend: This is an absolute must! This can mean anyone within walking distance. Especially with small kids close in age, you need to be able to call on someone in a pinch for things. Make sure you return the favors in some way.   

our game of musical beds

By Abbey Nash

As I stumbled blindly into the kitchen for my first precious cup of coffee this morning, and settled into my favorite spot on the couch to enjoy a few quiet moments before my bunch found me, I found myself seriously debating trading my early morning hour of sanity-preserving “me time,” for just a few more moments of sleep.  And it’s no wonder I was exhausted.

Even as I waited on the couch for my morning coffee to work its magic, the tiny owner of the toddler size 5’s that kicked me out of bed by playing chopsticks on my spine, was still sprawled diagonally across my bed, perpendicular to her big sister, who was pressed against their sleeping father like melted cheese on bread. And my poor husband, clinging with every shred of dignity he’s still got to the 6” space to which he’d been relegated, was no doubt left repeating over and over to himself, “I will not fall. I will not fall.” Not that it’d matter all that much if he did. He probably wouldn’t even notice. In fact, he’d probably be thrilled about the extra space. Today, just like everyday, he’s exhausted. We all are. We’ve been up all night; up and down, that is. You see, this “family bed” of ours is far from intentional. Rather it is the collateral damage of the game we seem to play every night at our house; a game with which I’m sure fellow Baby Bunchers are all-too familiar. It’s a little game we like to call “Musical Beds.”

Every night we tuck our kids into bed around 8:30 p.m. We lay with them singing songs and rubbing backs until they fall asleep, and then we sneak out as quick as we can in the dark, holding our breath and hoping the noise of our stubbed toes against the toy box or bookshelf doesn’t wake them up. And then we wait. Because, you see, this game doesn’t really get started until about midnight. Believe you me, we’ve tried to negotiate an earlier start time, but the “refs” won’t have it. They’re sticklers for routine, and after all, they probably enjoy the four hours of pre-game snoozing in the vast comfort of their own beds. Alone. So midnight it is. Like clockwork, somebody’s crying. And the game begins.

Phase #1: “Scootch Over.” As soon as my husband hears our three year old cry out sleepily, “Daddy!” he methodically sits up and stumbles to her bedside, mumbling, “Scootch over.” His intention, of course, is to soothe her back to sleep, and then return to his own bed and waiting wife. But to no avail. He’s usually snoring well before she is, and she snuggles up next to him, thrilled about her new bedmate. At least until Phase #2.

Phase #2: “It’s Your Turn.” Within an hour or so, our 18th month old will inevitably wake up, and my husband, still sound asleep in the same room, will hear her first. Climbing carefully out of bed, so as not to wake our older daughter, he’ll scoop up the crier and shuffle back into our bedroom where he’ll offer her to me at arm’s length. “It’s your turn,” he’ll say, climbing back into our bed, and rolling over to one side. He’s snoring before his head hits the pillow. For a few more minutes anyway.

Phase #3: “I wanna get up.” Usually by about 3 a.m., the three of us are sleeping relatively soundly, so that the sound of our three year old clambering out of bed and shuffling down the hall doesn’t even wake us up. What does wake us up is a finger in the eye, my husband’s subsequent bellow, and our toddler’s soft, apologetic whisper, “I wanna get up.” Without hesitation and with only one eye open, (because after all, he just got poked in the other one), my husband lifts her into bed and Phase #4 “Give Up and Get Some Sleep” begins.

Phase #4 holds any number of unpredictable game plays. For starters, my husband might get tired of clinging to the edge of the mattress, and shuffle alone back to one of the girls’ beds. Left alone with both girls, and the pile of pillows tucked around the exterior of the bed, I end up sleeping awkwardly until one of them starts crying, inevitably waking up the other. I have had other nights where I’ve woken up in my three year olds’ twin bed with both girls tucked in beside me. My husband has been known to sleep on the floor, claiming it’s more comfortable on his aching back then our too-soft mattress, but I’m pretty sure he just uses it as an excuse when he’s too tired to make it into the other room. On more than one occasion, leaving both girls sprawled across our king-sized bed, my husband and I have found ourselves on the couch together- our oversized ottoman adding just enough room to keep us from falling off. At least until someone else cries and one or both of us have to travel back to bed in a sleep-deprived stupor.

 Don’t get me wrong. I know there are things that we could probably do- things like letting them cry it out, or “The Stay-In-Bed Technique,” Super Nanny-style. But I’m pretty sure Super Nanny doesn’t have any kids of her own. She’s never had to buckle two toddlers into the car and drive halfway across the planet just to get them to sleep in the first place. I can’t be positive, but I’m sure she can’t imagine how the comfort of your toddler’s face tucked beneath your chin could be worth a few hours on the couch. Or the floor.

Because the fact is, I know “Musical Beds” will be a short-lived game. When, (God willin’ and the creek don’t rise), my bunch is in high school, it will be all I can do to rouse them from their own beds before lunchtime. This time with my kids as toddlers, when my very presence is their greatest comfort, when they fit against my chest or inside the crook of my arm, this time is fleeting. And after long, hard days filled with the constant clamor of their liveliness, the night time comfort of sweet, soft breathing and a chubby hand against my cheek is too precious to pass up.

So I’ll take the extra cup of coffee, if need be, and I’ll catch a few z’s from the soft spot on the couch. Because I know that this too will pass, and when it does, I dare say, I’ll miss it. But I’ll tell you all about it after I get some sleep.

Abbey's a stay-at-home mom to two girls who are 3 years old and 18 months old.  

remembering my mamaversary

Today is the sixth anniversary of the very first time I went into labor and didn't know it (otherwise known as my oldest son's birthday). A good friend wished me a "Happy Mamaversary" this morning, which I loved.

On each of my children's birthdays, I can't help but spend the day periodically reflecting back on what I was doing at this time on this day "x" years ago.  I've also found that the news of a close friend going into labor sends me down this memory lane as well.  It must be some sort of sickness I've inherited because my mom STILL does it, and I am 30-odd years old.  Every year when she calls to wish me happy birthday, the phone conversation always begins with, "X years ago at this time, I was....".  Unfortunately, I was born in a foreign country and her story always involves a lot of shouting in a language she didn't understand, dust bunnies under the hospital bed,lack of appropriate pain medication, and a post-birth infection that prevented her from nursing.  But hey, it's nice to hear how you came into the world and what warm fuzzies it brings your mom year after year after year.

My own Mamaversary story is far less dramatic, featuring only a minor snafu brought on by a rare Atlanta snowstorm (read: 5 flakes of snow) that shut down my OB's office.  Once I actually realized I was in labor and got settled into the hospital, it was all rainbows and roses and actually my most seamless labor of the three.  As a first time mom, I was surprised by how quick (8 hours - all in a day's work) and painless (at least until the epidural wore off and I could barely walk for three weeks) it all was.  I distinctly remember looking at my son about 6 hours after he was born and thinking, "I could do this again."  Which is how I ended up in that same hospital bed just 17 months later. 

When I was pregnant, I also distinctly remember feeling that I knew my life was about to change so profoundly, but knowing that I wouldn't understand how MUCH it would change until it actually happened.  And how true. At 4:45 pm on February 26th, with the arrival of a 7 lb 9 oz, 20 3/4 inch gift from God, I became a whole new person.  Aside from unwittingly bidding goodbye to the last worry-free moment of my life at 4:44 pm, I became capable of loving another human being on a dimension I previously didn't even know was possible.

It was such a positive experience that it would take two more babies before I could drive past the hospital without wishing I was checking in at that moment to deliver another sweet bundle of joy.  Fast forward 6 years and 3 children and the hospital-induced ovary aching has subsided.  But I still enjoy the annual mental replays of three of the most important days of my life.  So this year I'll be raising a glass of champagne to go with my cake.  Happy Birthday to Cade and Happy Mamaversary to me! 

baby bunching bites: sausage and cheese breakfast casserole

Dinnertime woes at your house? Make breakfast for dinner. My kids highly prefer breakfast to any other meal of the day--other than dessert--so when in doubt we serve up anything with eggs and everyone eats. This recipe is also adapted from Cooking Light, but I usually go ahead and put in the eggs instead of the egg substitute. This meal is a great "make-ahead" that can be made during nap time or the night before. We love meals that are either super fast or make ahead.

Sausage and Cheese Breakfast Casserole

Cooking spray
12  ounces turkey (or pork) breakfast sausage
2  cups  1% low-fat milk
2  cups  egg substitute (about 9 eggs if you go this route)
1  teaspoon  dry mustard
3/4  teaspoon  salt
1/2  teaspoon  freshly ground black pepper
1/4  teaspoon  ground red pepper
3  large eggs
16  (1-ounce) slices white bread
1  cup  (4 ounces) finely shredded reduced-fat extra sharp cheddar cheese
1/4  teaspoon  paprika (optional)

1. Heat a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Coat pan with cooking spray. Add sausage to pan; cook 5 minutes or until browned, stirring and breaking sausage to crumble. Remove from heat; cool.

2. Combine milk and next 6 ingredients (through eggs) in a large bowl, stirring with a whisk.

3. Trim crusts from bread. Cut bread into 1-inch cubes. Add bread cubes, sausage, and cheddar cheese to milk mixture, stirring to combine. Pour bread mixture into a 13 x 9–inch baking or 3-quart casserole dish coated with cooking spray, spreading egg mixture evenly in baking dish. Cover and refrigerate 8 hours or overnight. I have even left it for 2 nights for Christmas preparation.

4. Preheat oven to 350°.

5. Remove casserole from refrigerator; let stand 30 minutes. Sprinkle casserole evenly with paprika. Bake at 350° for 45 minutes or until set and lightly browned. Let stand 10 minutes.

Other meals we recommend:

• Maple Roasted Chicken with Sweet Potatoes
• Peanut Chicken Satay
• Sausage and Spinach Pasta
• Cornflake Crusted Halibut

If you're looking for other kid-friendly meals, check out Tastebudding.com. 
 

baby bunching Q/A: finding buncher buddies

Q: I was wondering if anyone knows of a play group for baby bunching families in my area. I just moved to Charleston, SC, and would like to meet other families in similar circumstances.

A: Moving can be very difficult in the early stages of Baby Bunching. Linda did it twice, and it's not easy. Having the right support network is critical to making Baby Bunching bearable successful. Back in the day when our grandmas and great grandmas were churning out 'Irish Twins' they also had family around to help them out and care for the kids. Yeah, not anymore. We're the generation of do-it-on-your-own with family three time zones away. This can make Baby Bunching difficult and lonesome at times.

Don't take finding a network of friends in your similar situation lightly. Baby Bunchers have to stick together. The best playgroups are the ones where, with your friends, you're greater than the sum of all your parts. Meaning, you may arrive in and leave in chaos, but while you're together everything is better and easier simply because you have each other.

The trick to getting the process going is to find the mom who seems well connected to many different groups. She's the one who will know about mom's groups, playgroups, play dates, preschools, doctors, etc. One of the easiest and quickest ways to find these women is at the playground. Try to hit the toddler-friendly playgrounds when most naps are over—that’s the 4 to 5 p.m. range. Same for the weekends. It may take a few playgrounds or few trips to find fellow Baby Bunchers, but eventually you will stumble upon the right playground/time of day when there are lots of potential mommy and children friends.

Another great way to meet Baby Bunchers is to join a moms group. MOMS Club, Mothers and More, and MOPS, and Mocha Moms are all examples of national organizations that have local chapters with monthly meeting, planned activities, age-appropriate playgroups, etc.  Each has a unique focus/approach (faith-based, strictly for stay-at-home moms, etc., etc.) and the activity level of the group varies from chapter to chapter, so it may take a few tries to luck into the "right" group that matches your personality/needs, but stay the course. 

There are also geographic-specific message boards on larger websites out there (MomsLikeMe, BabyCenter, Meetup, CityMommy, The Bump, etc.) spring to mind as examples that may feel a little more removed initially because they're virtual, but often feature groups that gel online and meet IRL down the line. 

Baby classes, such as The Music Class, Gymboree, and The Little Gym, are all divided by ages and a great (if pricier, especially once the younger of your Bunch comes along) way to meet other moms.  Local community centers often offer similar classes at a more affordable rate.  And don't forget about library story hour! (If you feel brave enough to venture that direction.)

We're convinced that Baby Bunchers can spot each other a mile away. There's no secret handshake, although that is interesting idea. If you're looking for a playgroup and haven't found yet that suits you, start your own with people you meet along the way. Meeting up a playground is great if everyone is of the appropriate age (meaning kids who are 9 months old tend to not enjoy the playground as much as those who are 2 years old). If the playground situation stresses you out, look for other venues: mall play area, indoor playgrounds, etc.

Thank God for the Web now because Facebook can actually help you connect on a more local level. Just googling Charleston Mom's Group pulled up two good resources: Charleston Mommies and Mom's in the Know, which has a Facebook Fan page of local moms.

If you're looking to find other Baby Bunching moms in your area or have more suggestions on where to find them, give a shout here - we would love to see our little community grow IRL!