Baby Bunching

baby bunching bests

Here we go again this week with some of the Baby Bunching Bests for the past two weeks. (I'm a bit behind again!) Damn, summer is keeping me busier than the school year. We hope everyone had a Happy July 4th!

Stephanie over at Adventures in Babywearing talks about how just like that, she locked her youngest in the car. Accidentally of course. She has been flooded with comments of so many other moms who have done the same thing, as I have too. It's just one of the occupational hazards of Baby Bunching.

Jamie over at Sticky Feet, who is expecting twins this fall, explains why in her next life she wants to be a man. Very nice post.

Shell over at Things I Can't Say is able to enjoy time with just one of her three kids this week. She talks about how easy it is with just one versus all three under four.

Mary Beth over at Four Silly Sisters is celebrating the fact that her husband is returning from Iraq. She and her four little girls have braved this past year on their own and truly celebrated the 4th of July this year. Thank you so much to all our brave solider who are overseas fighting for our freedom.

Susan over at One Year Apart is shedding her two under two shoes. Do you have a pair of these, too? I do and they are still in the closet even two years later. I love them and just can't say goodbye.

the times, they are a changin'

Today I took all three of my children to see the Monet exhibit at our contemporary art museum and I was shocked that it was not a bust.  Granted, we went with a friend so I had an extra set of hands and it was Toddler Thursday, so there were a few (ok, one) activities specifically geared towards small children.  But still...

A trip to the art museum has been on my to-do list for a long time.  About five years, to be exact.  The last time I was able to enjoy one of the many traveling exhibits our city has to offer was shortly before the birth of my oldest child.  Once he came along and his brother joined us just 17 months later, hubby and I would've sooner cut off our right legs than attempt to plan an outing involving our children and this particular museum.

Of late, though, the children have been acting, well...almost human.  We can eat out without it turning into a total fiasco.  They will attend movies, children's plays and concerts, and sporting events without acting like psychotic whining freaks (most of the time).  We have actually really been able to do a lot of fun stuff lately that would've been an absolute nightmare when they were younger, which is why I felt emboldened to tackle the art museum after all these years. Naturally, they were unimpressed by Monet but did enjoy the children's art activities and the hot dogs and cupcakes at lunch time.  They were also pretty jazzed to press the buttons in the parking garage elevator and run up and down the museum's circular ramps (which I know the museum staff just LOVES), so all in all, the outing was a success for us.

 But it hasn't always gone down that way.  While at the museum, I watched a woman that I was fairly sure was a Baby Buncher struggle with her two little ones.  She and I were  chatting amicably as our babies played together alongside each other, until all of the sudden her older child dirtied his diaper and then sprinted out of the room.  She grabbed the baby and dashed off to retrieve the toddler, leaving her diaper bag and stroller behind.  They returned a few minutes later and I watched her grapple with diaper changing a toddler with a baby on the move, and then getting everyone situated in play areas, only to have them lose interest and decide it was time to move along to the lunchroom.  Honestly, it was like looking back in time at myself three years ago.

Per Linda's post earlier this week, I felt compelled to assure her that things would get easier.  And they will - I'm living proof of that.

baby bunching it at the pool: what to expect

So now that you're all packed for the pool (see previous post about what to bring), the time has come to actually get out the door and head over there.  We're not sure why, but "fun" at the pool always seems to involve overcoming a series of obstacles.  Someone always takes a fall - either in or out of the water.  Someone has a giant poopy swim diaper mess (inevitably on the day you forget to throw in the diaper wipes).  Someone has their toy swiped by a bigger kid, leading to a meltdown they just can't recover from, five minutes after you've arrived.  And so on and so on. 

We have just a few tips for trying to head off some of the mini-disasters that frequently seem to occur. 

1)  Timing is everything.  As with all things Baby Bunching, timing is critical.  The best time to go to the pool if you have little ones is in the morning. Mornings always seem so much more laid back because the older kids usually aren't out yet so it is easier to manage the energy level and also keep your kids in your line of vision. You'll have a better chance to get a good spot in the shade because it's not crowded, and it's still not too hot yet, in most places. If you must venture out in afternoon or evening, just be sure you go after everyone has napped, because water play can be exhausting and overwhelming for some little ones so best to tackle it when everyone is well-rested.

2)  Plan ahead.  In addition to packing all the gear you will need, get everyone as ready as you possibly can BEFORE you leave the house.  That means tackle swim diapers, swimsuits, and sunscreens at home where there is plenty of air conditioning and baby gates.  There's nothing worse than trying to pin down an antsy toddler for sunblock while your baby crawls precariously towards the pool on hot cement.  Take care of as much as you can (including lunch/snack time) at home before hand.

3)  Choose your pool carefully.  When it comes to pools for Baby Bunchers, the smaller and less crowded, the better. Don't bother hauling your crew across town to the super cool aquatic center with water slides and high dives. You need something that's one step above the plastic baby pool in your backyard.  Small, private neighborhood pools are good.  Gradual entry (beach-style) pools are better.  Facilities with baby pools or splash pads gated off from the big pool are best.  And of course, pools with lifeguards on duty and are always preferred (not that this means you can take your eyes off your Bunch for ONE SINGLE SECOND, just that you will have a set of backup eyes).  Set yourself up for success by choosing your pool carefully.

4)  Have appropriate expectations.  You will not spend the whole day at the pool.  You will not relax at the pool.  You will not talk to your friends at the pool.  Your Bunch will likely last for an hour and a half, max, during which time you will constantly be either holding or scanning the baby pool to make sure all members of your Bunch are accounted for.  It is downright dangerous for Baby Bunchers to attempt socialize or relax while swimming.  Keep your eyes on the babies at all times.

5) Bring a buddy. Just because you can't catch up with your friends doesn't mean you should invite them. Kids have more fun with friends and you have extra eyes when you need to run a kid to the bathroom or find a band aid for the gashed toe. Having anyone you know around to help you if you need it is preferable.

6) Have a mechanism for pinning everyone down (i.e. a double stroller).  There is no place you will go where it will be more important to have a way to restrain all members of the Bunch, case need be.  On the off-chance that you have to go sprinting after one kid, you will want to have the other one safely buckled in (with the stroller brake set).  Bonus - every once in awhile, one kid will actually sit quietly in the stroller, allowing you to enjoy some quality pool time with the other kid.  The stroller helps you be prepared for that possibility.If your kids are older and the stroller isn't an option, snacks (good ones) work as a way to keep people in one place.

7)  Have a strategy for keeping everyone safe.  This deserves a whole separate post, especially since a couple of you have specifically requested this information.  Stay tuned for tomorrow's post on this topic...

the baby buncher club

I saw her standing over the back of her SUV changing a diaper. She kept looking back at a toddler across the parking lot (on the sidewalk). She was frantically changing the diaper of the child in the car. I couldn't tell how old he was, but I knew without a doubt....she was one of us.

We were leaving the playground to go home (more on that later), and I was almost certain of what had happened. Although I couldn't figure out why the older one was across the parking lot, but we Bunchers do crazy things in a panic.

As I got closer--since my car was parked right next to hers--I asked if the other child was hers. She responded. "How could you tell? By my crazy attempt to make him stay there and hope he didn't run into traffic. " Yep, she's a Buncher.

"How old are your kids?" I asked her as I helped her keep an eye on the one across the parking lot. The oldest was two and the youngest 8 months.

I smiled a big smile. "Yep, I figured. The same distance apart from mine."

OK, the ONLY way I remember that is because when my son turned two and my daughter was 8 months THAT was the time people looked at me like I was an alien with four heads. Apparently, THAT must be when it sinks in and people do the math at how close my kids were. So I always remember that spacing for some reason.

The lady sighed a sigh of relief. "Really, wow. That's so nice to know. Do people always ask if you have twins? I just don't get that, but they do. Yours look like they could be." And yes, people do ask that. She scooped up her youngest and gave an even bigger sigh as she turned to her older son.

 "It really does get easier," I promised her. Although I had just spent the past two hours negotiating and running after my own Bunch. I knew for sure it was still easier than where she was right now.

What do you say, or what advice do you give, when you spot another Baby Buncher?

baby bunching it at the pool: what to bring

Nope - the title of this post is neither a mistake nor a joke - it IS possible to take your Bunch to the pool by yourself.  All you need is a little organization and a lot of courage.  With swim season upon us, we thought we'd share some tips on braving a trip to the pool with your Bunch.

There are many things to consider when making your journey (and it really is a journey) to the pool. In this post, we're going to focus on what to bring to the pool.  After all, you should never go to battle without the appropriate weapons in your arsenal.

There is so much you COULD bring to the pool like water guns, toys, diving sticks, rafts, extra change of clothes for everyone, picnic lunch, popsicles, wallet, etc. The list starts to look like a kindergarten school supply list.  Please realize that because you have your Bunch with you, you will probably only actually BE at the pool for less than two hours (in fact, it will likely take you longer to get ready than it will to experience the outing).  Also, you will be lugging two babies plus whatever you decide to pack, PLUS you will have to haul it all back home, so be diligent about what you DO actually bring.  

First things first.   Get yourself a HUGE waterproof pool bag like the Scout bag we're giving away from Pine & Ivy. If you didn't win it, buy one (Linda has three).  It really streamlines pool packing if you have a dedicated pool bag that has your pool stuff in it at all times so you don't have to go hunting for gear every time you want to go swimming.

So here the official list of what you SHOULD bring.

If your kids are under the age of THREE. Make this easy on yourself by limiting your gear to the necessities (which is still a pretty long list).

1) Diaper bag contents, which translates to swim diaper, a regular diaper for babies to go home in, dry change of clothes for children who are likely to fall asleep on the way home (makes transferring to the crib easier), wipes, wallet, keys, pool pass, etc. (Get a small makeup bag to keep all the tiny essentials in one place so you don't have to dig).

2) Plastic bag for wet clothes is nice to have, but you can always wrap wet clothes in the towel.

3) Towels....one for EACH of you.

4) Snacks. Something easy to transport and enough for everyone because pool snacks always seem to become a community affair.  Linda likes to bring fruit so you can avoid allergy issues and nothing is grosser than wet Goldfish by the pool. If your kids are very small, don't risk "mealtime" at the pool. Kids love to eat snacks and if you're not with a gaggle of girlfriends to help manage food issues, just keep it to easy snacks and water. Seriously.

5) Water for everyone and/or bottle.

6) Sunscreen. Linda brings just one bottle because kid sunscreen works for you too.  Cara actually has a sunscreen collection of extra-strength sport for her and the active boys, sticks for faces, enviro-unfriendly aerosol for fast-moving toddlers, and baby-specific for babies.  Overkill, probably, but she is paranoid about the sun's oh-so-fun but damaging rays.  Cara keeps all sunscreen types in a single large Ziploc bag (along with hand sanitizer) for easy grab-and-go, no matter the outing.

7) Sun hats for anyone who will keep them on, but especially young babies.

8) Linda recommends a SMALL assortment of water toys. If you're going to a pool with other kids, the fun is to share your toys so as long as you have some to share, you'll have enough. Make sure you have at least one toy for each of your kids.  Cara recommends skipping the toys altogether - they are too hard to keep up with and there are always extras lying around the pool.  If you must take them, take cheapies that you don't care about and use a sharpie marker to label them with your last name.

9) Any floatation device that you're allowed to use that will HELP you...not entertain the kids. Leave the balls at home as well as the big blow up dinosaur, unless your kid is strapped into it and it helps you manage everyone. Think minimal here.

10)  Water-friendly stroller (Cara uses her umbrella stroller).  You'll need a place to park baby in the shade and strap him in when he gets tired of the water or when his big sis suddenly bolts for the deep end.

If any of your kids are over the age of three, this list will look a bit differently. With these older kids, come more crap.  Add these items on to the above items.

10) Underwear, if you want to change them into dry clothes before you leave.  To keep things simple, Cara does not change anyone except people who might fall asleep on the way home at the pool, but this is up to you.

11) Goggles (labeled with your name)

12) Toys that are small. Once your kids are really enjoying the idea of splashing, around leave the bigger toys at home. Noodles are great and many pools already have these. So keep it to dive sticks or a few little toys.

13) Antibacterial gel. The nastiest thing in the world is outdoor pool bathrooms. Many don't have soap. And there is nothing worse than your kids saying they have to poo at the pool.....only to have the TP stick to their butts and then not have soap. Bring something to de-gross this situation. Never mind the fact that your toddler will try to touch everything or even lick the stall while you wait for him to poo.

14)  Lunch.  Because even though the last thing you want to do after reading #13 is eat lunch, the older the kids are, the easier the pool gets, and the more time it kills.  We hear that someday we may even be lounging poolside reading People magazine while our kids play.

We can all dream, right?

baby bunching battles: church

There are many, many places that you should avoid going to with your Bunch.  For me, church was always near the top of that list.  This was sadly ironic because I found that I often had to invoke the support of a higher power to make it through the daily grind of Baby Bunching, so it was rather unfortunate that my Bunch was driving a wedge between me and attendance at proper formal worship services.

I grew up in the Catholic church, where nurseries are almost non-existent and even the presence of cry rooms are sporadic.  From an early age, Catholics are expected to worship as a family.  But with two children under the age of two, I found that the only thing more spiritually draining than worshiping with my family was to worship with my family AND the family of Baby Bunchers that were inevitably seated three rows behind me.

And yet, like a good Catholic girl, I continued to bang my head against the proverbial wall by trying again and again to include my Bunch in worship services.  Most weeks we left even more exhausted than when we had arrived (was that even possible?!) instead of spiritually renewed.

Finally, I gave up on the whole "worship as a family thing".  Out of sheer desperation, we switched churches and began attending one that offered regular nursery services.  We threw all children in the nursery and only recently has my 5-year old been allowed to join us for services, AFTER he proved that he could keep the ants in his pants under control for an hour.  Our 4-year old attempted to attend with us a few weeks ago, but had a meltdown halfway through the service and was sent directly back to the nursery.  Baby was allowed to sit with us from birth until he started trying to yammer over the sermon and then he, too, was banished to the nursery.  I figure we'll send for them when they turn 5.

Do I feel bad that our family is worshiping in such a fractured manner?  A little.  But mostly I just feel a heck of a lot closer to God now that I can focus on His Word instead of those of my kids.

target: dream or nightmare

I'm not sure if Target is every Baby Buncher's dream or nightmare. When we lived overseas, where NOTHING like Target existed, I often longed dreamed for a place I could go to get everything--food, clothes, baby items, hardware, towels, etc. And while in each place we lived we had some "equivalent to Walmart" nothing was EVER the equivalent to Target. So I bopped around from place to place doing what every other Baby Buncher did pre-Target and went to a million places for all my goods. It sucked.

But in the almost three years since we've been back in this country, I have spent more of our money at Target than anywhere else. Seriously. I really should get some kind of kick back. But since Target is across from the gym and all my friends are also at the gym (where else can we dump our kids guilt free for two hours), Target is also a place to grab a post-workout coffee and casually "run" into friends in the organizing section.

So how could Target be bad if I can get everything there AND entertain my kids? Well, back in the day during that brief time when both my kids would sit happily in the cart and eat Goldfish, Target WAS the perfect place. Actually, I seriously considered it an outing. Mommy gets errands done + coffee. Kids get a snack and maybe even a $1 toy.

But this time period was only a brief one. The problem is Target itself. It's a distraction. I went in yesterday with my husband and kids to get ONE thing. I found myself wandering and lured away from my main goal by their seductive displays. My husband actually had to physically pull me back to the cart and tell me to focus on the task.

Lately I have noticed, since my kids' tolerance of doing ANY errand has actually increased, their tolerance of Target has proportionally decreased. Why? Because I think I have pushed them too far in this Mecca for moms. In the beginning the goal was about getting in and out of a place alive and with kids not screaming their heads off. Now that I know they don't this--instead they run like animals through the racks--I have expected too much of them beyond their knowledge of going in to pick up a few things.

So the lesson learned is now that my kids actually know what Target means: hours of endless of wandering for crap we don't need (even with the probability of a chocolate milk) this outing beyond just an errand doesn't meet their needs any longer, and they can't tolerate more than 10-20 minutes of it. Smart kids.

As a side note, I have heard my kids praise Target. Like when I told them we needed to get new shoes. My daughter's response was: Why aren't we going to Target. They have everything!

Or when I found my kids actually "playing Target" the other day. The game is ride up to the imaginary window on your bike and ask for shoes, clothes, toys, cards, movies, books, shampoo, food, sheets, towels. Target suddenly became drive-thru in their world.

Ahhhhhhh . . . and wouldn't that be a perfect world.

scout: the perfect pool bag & giveaway

Summer arrives and I suddenly become the pool sherpa. I have to able to pick the perfect pool for right time of day and bring along all the appropriate gear/toys and food. My first two summers to the pool I literally looked like a lost bag lady. I came in carrying at least three bags full of toys, diapers, swim diapers, clothes, snacks, water bottles, baby bottles, towels and anything else that may be considered essential to water play....even if only for 10 minutes.

Last summer, I walked past the most awesome bag at a local festival and finally decided it was time for a decent pool bag to tote all the junk to the pool. The bag was worth every cent and should be required gear for any Baby Bunching mom who is at the pool regularly.

The bag is called a Scout bag and Pine & Ivy (who I bought three of these bags from) is donating one for our giveaway. I love this bag because it's huge (19 x 10 x 15 inches), waterproof, stain poof and fun to carry. It's made out of poly-woven tarp material and has reinforced handles so I can get literally EVERYTHING for the pool into one bag.

To enter the giveaway, tell me why you need this bag and give us your best Baby Bunching pool story. We'll randomly select a winner on June 25.

Congrats to our winner Ariel. She was selected by Random.org.

what's for dinner: getting organized in the kitchen

As with other daily chores, such as laundry, the amount of spent in the kitchen correlates directly to the age of your kids. It peaks when your youngest starts eating real food until your kids can sit down at the table with the rest of family. get their own ketchup and eat everything on their plate without whining or spilling.

While you may be in the kitchen all day fixing snacks and playing the role of short-order cook, Baby Bunching doesn't lend itself to actual experimentation of culinary dishes...mainly due to lack of time. When my kids were little I had on average 6-10 dishes that were easy and fast to make. I would often make double and freeze a portion of it. And this was perfect for the stage in my life. I didn't have time for things that involved more than 10 ingredients or took more than 30 minutes.

But things have changed in the past few years. My kids now eat more things, I can move beyond the simple 6 recipes and try "experimenting" a bit. But when it came to actually keeping it all organized in the kitchen for the week, I wasn't able to manage. Every week I made a list of things I thought I would make, then I would forget to take out some meat or be missing an ingredient. Every week I was back to my six staples. I had recipe books marked and stacks of recipes I had printed and ripped out of magazines.

Then my neighbor provided me with the solution to most of my cooking problems.

Here is What Worked:

• Get a 3-ring binder (preferably one with a clear plastic cover that you can slip paper behind.)
• This is the time consuming step, but TOTALLY worth it. Put all your recipes into clear plastic page protectors. If you have some that are smaller and have time to print them out as full sheets, it helps, but it's not necessary. Get everything into protectors. It helps when you're cooking from them so they don't get dirty/wet.
• Organize your recipes by type. I have mine by appetizer, main, side, dessert, drinks, breads. But if you want to do it by chicken, beef, vegetarian, spicy, kid friendly...then do what works for you.

Now you're set. Here's how the system works.

1. Every week sit down and quickly flip through my binder of all recipes. It's helpful to have it all right in front of me. I pick out 6 things to make. (Note: One day is reserved for leftovers.)
2. I physically take the recipes from the binder (still in the plastic sheet) and move them to very front of the binder. 
3. Then I make my grocery list from the 6 items I pulled out.
4. I use the plastic sleeve on the front of the binder to hold my weekly menu so it's there to see quickly. Each day I take the recipe I'm making that day and clip it to the frig so I can see it all day and note if I have to marinate or chop a bunch of stuff. This way come 5:00 p.m. I'm not behind.

I started going this route about a year ago, and it has completely saved me from added evening stress of "what to make for dinner?" The hardest part was getting everything in one location, but once it was set up, it's been easy. Now I just rip things out or print things off and slip them in the binder for the next week.

baby bunching bests

A quick one for this week's Baby Bunching bests.

Jen over at Oscarelli had me laughing almost to tears with her post about how her most perfect outing went awry. I only laugh because I have been there more than once and assume that everyone else has had a similar experience. I'm glad we can laugh from these experiences and hope they make us grow for the next one.

Caitlin over at A Hen and Two Three Chicks writes a very poetic post about One Mother's Work. I love this.

Super Ninja Mommy at Two Under Two is looking for a name for her fifth baby. We've talked about names before and I imagine with each baby the "perfect" name must get more and more difficult.

Tara over at The Young Mommy Chronicles follows up with her birth control choice and how happy she is. OK, I know that's a strange topic for a 'best,' but c'mon, I've polled our readers and know that many of us have gotten into the Baby Bunching predicament as a result of lackadaisical birth control. Just thought I'd share.